I run late, and I would like to change that about myself because it makes other people irritated with me. I don't mean to run late, and I try to be on time. But, frequently I either underestimate the time it takes to get ready or to get some place.
I understand the importance of being on time. I understand it makes a bad impression to be late. Sometimes I just can't help it.
At least I will fall on the sword and say sorry and admit this is probably my biggest fault. I'm ok with identifying my strengths and weaknesses, and I do see running late as a weakness (mainly because it bothers other people).
Showing posts with label 30DaysOfTruth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 30DaysOfTruth. Show all posts
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Thursday, November 15, 2012
30 Days of Truth: Day 28-What if You Were Pregnant? What Would You Do?
Oh boy, pregnancy? At my age? I'm turning 45 this year, so it would not be a positive thing at all if I got pregnant (especially because my husband has a vasectomy). If I got pregnant right now, I'd be in a whole lot of trouble and would need professional help from a psychiatrist I think! If I was younger (in my childbearing years) I would welcome a new baby into the world. At my age, I don't know what I would do.
30 Days of Truth: Day 27-What's the Best Thing Going for You Right Now?
My family is the best thing going for me right now. I'm in a really great spot. My husband has a great job as a health care attorney, and he recently made partner. My twenty year old stepson is in the Army stationed in NY. My nineteen year old daughter is a sophomore at Texas Tech and involved in her sorority (ZTA). My twelve year old daughter is doing well in her seventh grade classes and dancing eleven hours a week. And my eight year old son is also doing well at school in second grade and amazes me every day with his intelligence and insight.
I've achieved the perfect balance of being a person, a wife, a mother, and a professional. The house is quiet during the day, and I use the time to workout, to learn guitar, to write, to learn math, and to do all the work associated with running a household including the finances. Once the kids get home, I'm busy with them, and I also tutor math part time. I love that I can use my education and still be a full time mom. I don't have any of the stress that comes with being a classroom teacher. Instead, I get to experience the enjoyment and fulfillment of working one on one with students on math-a subject I am passionate about.
I feel very blessed to be in my position, and I'm grateful because my husband and I envisioned this life and built it step by step together.
I've achieved the perfect balance of being a person, a wife, a mother, and a professional. The house is quiet during the day, and I use the time to workout, to learn guitar, to write, to learn math, and to do all the work associated with running a household including the finances. Once the kids get home, I'm busy with them, and I also tutor math part time. I love that I can use my education and still be a full time mom. I don't have any of the stress that comes with being a classroom teacher. Instead, I get to experience the enjoyment and fulfillment of working one on one with students on math-a subject I am passionate about.
I feel very blessed to be in my position, and I'm grateful because my husband and I envisioned this life and built it step by step together.
30 Days of Truth: Day 26-Have You Ever Thought About Giving Up on Life? If so, when and why?
This one is easy because NO I have never thought about giving up on life. I love my life, and no matter how hard it gets, there is always a reason to live. Especially now that I have children, I can't imagine being selfish enough to give up on my own life.
I've known friends who have committed suicide, and while they may have found peace, it's so hard for the people they leave behind.
Life is a precious gift, and I intend to use mine to the fullest!
I've known friends who have committed suicide, and while they may have found peace, it's so hard for the people they leave behind.
Life is a precious gift, and I intend to use mine to the fullest!
30 Days of Truth: Day 25-The Reason You Believe You're Still Alive Today
Honestly I have no idea why I'm still alive today. It's kind of a weird question. It makes me think about the difference between determinism and free will. If our lives are pre-determined, I supposed I'm still alive because I haven't reached the end of my path yet. If our lives and deaths are created by our free will, then I'm alive because I haven't killed myself, and so far I've been successful in taking the necessary precautions to escape death.
I'm not really sure which theory is the actual truth, and I'm pretty sure nobody else knows either. I tend not to believe in determinism, but who knows? If it's in my power, then I do what I can to avoid death by avoiding disease and unsafe situations. If it's not in my power, then I guess my efforts are futile, and whatever will be will be.
Every action we take creates a ripple effect that leads us down another path. I read a book once that was all about this topic and whether or not it was possible to have parallel realities (each being different depending on the different choices we make and on the paths those choices lead us down). It's called One by Richard Bach.
I can only remember one time in my life when I actually thought I was going to die. It was when I hung from the Triboro Bridge in NYC for Greenpeace to protest ocean dumping of toxic sludge. I need to write a separate entry about my experiences while working for Greenpeace. But during that action, we were suspended from climbing ropes above the East River for about nine hours. The police shut down the bridge and there were police cars all over the bridge and police boats in the water. A special operations helicopter flew underneath us with its lights off, which easily could have killed us. That was scary. I also remember when the police at the top of my rope threatened to cut my rope and put frog men in the water to fish me out. I looked up and saw police alongside my support people, and I looked down and saw divers in suits with inflatable boats. I started doing the math in my head, falling close to 150 ft. with climbing rope all around me into "hell's gate" of the East River. I wondered if I would die on impact or drown in the river coiled up in rope as the current sucked me down and spit me out downstream. The action coordinators on the ground handled things perfectly, communicating over radio that we were receiving live international news coverage, and if they cut our ropes they would be killing up to thirteen activists on live television. The police did the right thing, didn't cut our ropes, instead they gave us each an extra safety rope! So, in that instance I owe my life to Dave Hollister who coordinated and managed the entire action and to Scott Stoodley who protected my ropes and anchors and dealt with the police. Thank you Dave and Scott! Here is a picture (I'm the climber farthest to the right):
In hindsight, there were other times I was very vulnerable and could have been killed, but wasn't. I lived outdoors in Colorado for a year and a half, and when I was in college I camped outdoors all the time. Luckily, no crazy killers found me.
As an adult, I strive to take care of my health and stay fit to prevent disease. I firmly believe you are what you eat, and I have a weird relationship with foods because of all my allergies/intolerances. I avoid wheat, corn, sugar, and eggs. Although it's difficult to eat so clean in our society, it's worth it because I feel better and when I go to the doctor they tell me they never see numbers so healthy in my age group. And then they ask me what's my secret. And I tell them, I eat right and exercise. Duh! It seems so simple, but it's difficult to sustain on a day to day basis.
I believe I'm still alive because I take care of myself and make safe choices in my adult life. I believe I'm still alive because I've gotten lucky in averting death in the past when there was an opportunity. I hope to live to be one hundred years old, and I hope to have a long healthy live with my family!
I'm not really sure which theory is the actual truth, and I'm pretty sure nobody else knows either. I tend not to believe in determinism, but who knows? If it's in my power, then I do what I can to avoid death by avoiding disease and unsafe situations. If it's not in my power, then I guess my efforts are futile, and whatever will be will be.
Every action we take creates a ripple effect that leads us down another path. I read a book once that was all about this topic and whether or not it was possible to have parallel realities (each being different depending on the different choices we make and on the paths those choices lead us down). It's called One by Richard Bach.
I can only remember one time in my life when I actually thought I was going to die. It was when I hung from the Triboro Bridge in NYC for Greenpeace to protest ocean dumping of toxic sludge. I need to write a separate entry about my experiences while working for Greenpeace. But during that action, we were suspended from climbing ropes above the East River for about nine hours. The police shut down the bridge and there were police cars all over the bridge and police boats in the water. A special operations helicopter flew underneath us with its lights off, which easily could have killed us. That was scary. I also remember when the police at the top of my rope threatened to cut my rope and put frog men in the water to fish me out. I looked up and saw police alongside my support people, and I looked down and saw divers in suits with inflatable boats. I started doing the math in my head, falling close to 150 ft. with climbing rope all around me into "hell's gate" of the East River. I wondered if I would die on impact or drown in the river coiled up in rope as the current sucked me down and spit me out downstream. The action coordinators on the ground handled things perfectly, communicating over radio that we were receiving live international news coverage, and if they cut our ropes they would be killing up to thirteen activists on live television. The police did the right thing, didn't cut our ropes, instead they gave us each an extra safety rope! So, in that instance I owe my life to Dave Hollister who coordinated and managed the entire action and to Scott Stoodley who protected my ropes and anchors and dealt with the police. Thank you Dave and Scott! Here is a picture (I'm the climber farthest to the right):
In hindsight, there were other times I was very vulnerable and could have been killed, but wasn't. I lived outdoors in Colorado for a year and a half, and when I was in college I camped outdoors all the time. Luckily, no crazy killers found me.
As an adult, I strive to take care of my health and stay fit to prevent disease. I firmly believe you are what you eat, and I have a weird relationship with foods because of all my allergies/intolerances. I avoid wheat, corn, sugar, and eggs. Although it's difficult to eat so clean in our society, it's worth it because I feel better and when I go to the doctor they tell me they never see numbers so healthy in my age group. And then they ask me what's my secret. And I tell them, I eat right and exercise. Duh! It seems so simple, but it's difficult to sustain on a day to day basis.
I believe I'm still alive because I take care of myself and make safe choices in my adult life. I believe I'm still alive because I've gotten lucky in averting death in the past when there was an opportunity. I hope to live to be one hundred years old, and I hope to have a long healthy live with my family!
Monday, November 12, 2012
30 Days of Truth: Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter
To my husband:
1. Can I get a? by Jay-Z because it was popular when we started dating, and it was frequently playing at the club where we went dancing on the weekends.
2. Love Like This by Faith Evans because it's one of my original songs for my husband. I really never knew there was a love like this before.
3. What's Simple is True by Jewel because it was on the first mixed tape I made for him and it speaks volumes about how pure our love was and how I took a leap of faith to be with him when he wasn't done with school yet or employed on a full-time basis.
4. God Blessed the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts because it describes how I feel about my journey in finding the love of my life.
5. Still the One by Shania Twain because after 13 years together he is still the one.
6. Dreamlover by Mariah Carey because he is the one who made my dreams come true.
7. Baby Boy by Sean Paul featuring Beyonce because it describes how I feel about him.
8. Forever by Chris Brown because I want to be with him forever.
9. Heaven by Bryan Adams because once in your life you find someone..
10. I Can't Help Falling in Love with You by UB40 because we did kind of rush into things, but I couldn't help it.
11. I Got You Babe by UB40 because I got him!
12. Nothing Fails by Madonna because I'm not religious, but I feel such love, it makes me want to pray, pray that he will always be here.
1. Can I get a? by Jay-Z because it was popular when we started dating, and it was frequently playing at the club where we went dancing on the weekends.
2. Love Like This by Faith Evans because it's one of my original songs for my husband. I really never knew there was a love like this before.
3. What's Simple is True by Jewel because it was on the first mixed tape I made for him and it speaks volumes about how pure our love was and how I took a leap of faith to be with him when he wasn't done with school yet or employed on a full-time basis.
4. God Blessed the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts because it describes how I feel about my journey in finding the love of my life.
5. Still the One by Shania Twain because after 13 years together he is still the one.
6. Dreamlover by Mariah Carey because he is the one who made my dreams come true.
7. Baby Boy by Sean Paul featuring Beyonce because it describes how I feel about him.
8. Forever by Chris Brown because I want to be with him forever.
9. Heaven by Bryan Adams because once in your life you find someone..
10. I Can't Help Falling in Love with You by UB40 because we did kind of rush into things, but I couldn't help it.
11. I Got You Babe by UB40 because I got him!
12. Nothing Fails by Madonna because I'm not religious, but I feel such love, it makes me want to pray, pray that he will always be here.
Friday, November 9, 2012
30 Days of Truth: Day 23-Something You Wish You Had Done in Your Life
I wish I went to Korea with my dad and brother when they went. I wasn't invited, and I didn't find out they went until after my dad died in 1997. I wish I could have gone for several reasons. First, he had four brothers, and they had wives and children. That means although my Korean grandparents, father, and uncle are no longer with us, there are living relatives in Korea that I've never met. I'm told they don't speak English, and neither my brother nor my step-mom keep in touch with any of them.
I wish I could have gone to Korea while my father was still alive so I could have met his family in person, see their culture, and see and hear about his experiences there first hand. He wrote a manuscript about his experiences in South Korea during the Korean war. He went to college in Seoul and struggled to stay alive in South Korea during the Korean war.
Here is a link to his book on amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/
I never met my Korean grandparents, but I heard they both lived to be over one hundred years old. Both of those things (going to Korea and living to be one hundred) are on my bucket list. Thankfully, genetics are on my side.
Isn't it freaky how much I look like my Korean grandmother in these pictures?
I do love my life and am thankful for exactly where I am in my life, so I don't really regret anything from the past. It's hard to say what would have been different now if I had done anything differently. But for the sake of the exercise, if I could go back and do everything again, I would have somehow invited myself to join them on a trip to Korea to get in touch with my heritage.
I wish I could have gone to Korea while my father was still alive so I could have met his family in person, see their culture, and see and hear about his experiences there first hand. He wrote a manuscript about his experiences in South Korea during the Korean war. He went to college in Seoul and struggled to stay alive in South Korea during the Korean war.
Here is a link to his book on amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/
I never met my Korean grandparents, but I heard they both lived to be over one hundred years old. Both of those things (going to Korea and living to be one hundred) are on my bucket list. Thankfully, genetics are on my side.
Isn't it freaky how much I look like my Korean grandmother in these pictures?
I do love my life and am thankful for exactly where I am in my life, so I don't really regret anything from the past. It's hard to say what would have been different now if I had done anything differently. But for the sake of the exercise, if I could go back and do everything again, I would have somehow invited myself to join them on a trip to Korea to get in touch with my heritage.
Monday, November 5, 2012
30 Days of Truth: Day 22-What is something you wish you hadn’t done in your life?
I moved to Texas in 2006. A year later, my daughter's soccer coach, a very likeable friend, talked me into playing with her on a women's over 40 league. Despite my husband's warnings, I played one season in the fall of 2007. Now, I wish I never did that.
I started playing soccer in fourth grade and continued through my freshman year in college when I played center halfback for Hollins College. In 1989, I started rock climbing and spent my twenties adventuring outdoors. I never hurt myself playing soccer back in the day, but I do remember having sore feet and that the trainers used to tape my feet and ankles before games. I thought I'd be able to play again and just be careful not to get hurt.
During one of the games, I rolled my right ankle running full speed, heard and felt a crack, and fell to the ground in pain. I put on someone else's ankle brace and tried to finish the game but couldn't. I limped around for a few weeks and then saw a doctor who put me in a brace and then a boot. An MRI showed a partial tear, but it healed on its own after a few months.
BUT, that injury led to a cascade of other injuries that have changed my life completely.
*tore cartilege in my right knee December 2007 while in the walking boot for the torn ankle (had surgery to fix that)
*rolled my right ankle again in April 2009 doing high kicks with my then high school aged daughter who was trying out for varsity drill team
*two surgeries on the right ankle to fix the torn ATFL (all the way off the bone) and tendons in the back on both sides) in August and December 2009 (and in the December surgery, they also fixed my torn cartilege again in my right knee because it tore again from walking around in the walking boot).
*tore cartilege again in my right knee putting on shoes (had another surgery to fix that in September 2011).
The first and last time I tore my knee, it was the kind of tear where my leg was locked in the bent position until they could get me in for surgery. I never had lower back pain until I hurt my ankle the first time playing that one season of adult soccer. As soon as I hurt my ankle, it was a chain of events, one after the next, and now I have had two ankle surgeries and five knee surgeries on my right leg. I still walk with a little limp and have a handicapped parking sticker because I can't walk very far without pain. I don't do any more outdoor sports or ball sports. I don't run anymore, and I don't jump anymore. I miss being more active, but I am still thankful I can get around and am in relatively good health.
But I sure wish I didn't play that one season of soccer because I was able to do a whole lot more activities before I hurt myself.
I started playing soccer in fourth grade and continued through my freshman year in college when I played center halfback for Hollins College. In 1989, I started rock climbing and spent my twenties adventuring outdoors. I never hurt myself playing soccer back in the day, but I do remember having sore feet and that the trainers used to tape my feet and ankles before games. I thought I'd be able to play again and just be careful not to get hurt.
During one of the games, I rolled my right ankle running full speed, heard and felt a crack, and fell to the ground in pain. I put on someone else's ankle brace and tried to finish the game but couldn't. I limped around for a few weeks and then saw a doctor who put me in a brace and then a boot. An MRI showed a partial tear, but it healed on its own after a few months.
BUT, that injury led to a cascade of other injuries that have changed my life completely.
*tore cartilege in my right knee December 2007 while in the walking boot for the torn ankle (had surgery to fix that)
*rolled my right ankle again in April 2009 doing high kicks with my then high school aged daughter who was trying out for varsity drill team
*two surgeries on the right ankle to fix the torn ATFL (all the way off the bone) and tendons in the back on both sides) in August and December 2009 (and in the December surgery, they also fixed my torn cartilege again in my right knee because it tore again from walking around in the walking boot).
*tore cartilege again in my right knee putting on shoes (had another surgery to fix that in September 2011).
The first and last time I tore my knee, it was the kind of tear where my leg was locked in the bent position until they could get me in for surgery. I never had lower back pain until I hurt my ankle the first time playing that one season of adult soccer. As soon as I hurt my ankle, it was a chain of events, one after the next, and now I have had two ankle surgeries and five knee surgeries on my right leg. I still walk with a little limp and have a handicapped parking sticker because I can't walk very far without pain. I don't do any more outdoor sports or ball sports. I don't run anymore, and I don't jump anymore. I miss being more active, but I am still thankful I can get around and am in relatively good health.
But I sure wish I didn't play that one season of soccer because I was able to do a whole lot more activities before I hurt myself.
left side
right side
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
30 Days of Truth: Day 20-Your Views on Drugs and Alcohol
My views on drugs and alcohol...I think they are things people use to make themselves feel different. They alter our moods, physiology, and psychology. People use them to escape stress and to celebrate happy times. People use them recreationally and the effects are as broad ranging as the products.
Alcohol: I love my wine, chardonnay with heavy oak to be specific. I no longer drink beer or liquor (except for the occasional tequila shot) because they are all distilled through grains, and I am intolerant of wheat and corn. I also avoid sugar, so anything mixed with liquor is a no-no. I will stick with wine thanks. I associate drinking chardonnay with time with my girlfriends. It's so fun to hang out with a group of friends and unwind while the kids play and eat snacks. I started a happy hour tradition in Virginia with some other mom-friends, and since we've moved to Texas, it's morphed into neighborhood parties occasionally.
Medicinal use of drugs is one thing. People take prescriptions for various physical ailments and conditions. Medicinal marijuana is legal in some states and helps people cope with debilitating symptoms. I don't see anything wrong with medicinal use of drugs. In fact, I keep a few pharmaceutical companies in business with all the prescriptions I take for chronic conditions.
Using hard drugs sucks. Drugs like heroin, cocaine, ecstasy, and meth are addictive and deadly. As a parent and educator, I would tell young people to stay away from them at all costs. I'll never forget the first funeral I took my teenage daughter to in 2007. The big brother of one of her friends OD'd by accident during his senior year of high school. It was heartbreaking to see him lying there in his coffin, knowing it was an awful mistake that could never be taken back. His entire future was lost because of doing drugs. Not worth it, in my humble opinion.
Alcohol: I love my wine, chardonnay with heavy oak to be specific. I no longer drink beer or liquor (except for the occasional tequila shot) because they are all distilled through grains, and I am intolerant of wheat and corn. I also avoid sugar, so anything mixed with liquor is a no-no. I will stick with wine thanks. I associate drinking chardonnay with time with my girlfriends. It's so fun to hang out with a group of friends and unwind while the kids play and eat snacks. I started a happy hour tradition in Virginia with some other mom-friends, and since we've moved to Texas, it's morphed into neighborhood parties occasionally.
Medicinal use of drugs is one thing. People take prescriptions for various physical ailments and conditions. Medicinal marijuana is legal in some states and helps people cope with debilitating symptoms. I don't see anything wrong with medicinal use of drugs. In fact, I keep a few pharmaceutical companies in business with all the prescriptions I take for chronic conditions.
Using hard drugs sucks. Drugs like heroin, cocaine, ecstasy, and meth are addictive and deadly. As a parent and educator, I would tell young people to stay away from them at all costs. I'll never forget the first funeral I took my teenage daughter to in 2007. The big brother of one of her friends OD'd by accident during his senior year of high school. It was heartbreaking to see him lying there in his coffin, knowing it was an awful mistake that could never be taken back. His entire future was lost because of doing drugs. Not worth it, in my humble opinion.
Friday, October 19, 2012
30 Days of Truth: Day 19 - What Do You Think of Religion? or What Do You Think of Politics?
Religion and Politics...the third rail. These are two topics people often say NOT to talk about. However these are also two topics that are on my mind on a daily basis. Since this prompt asked...let me answer the questions.
Politics:
I'm a democrat and I support President Obama. I've voted in every election since I was eighteen, and I voted democrat every time despite being raised by a republican mother. I even worked for the Young Republicans when I was growing up in a DC suburb. I opened President Reagan's mail! I'm pretty sure it was my love affair with the environment and my genuine caring for those less fortunate than I that led me to lean left. The more informed I become on issues, I find that I fall left of center. I'm pretty vocal about my convictions on my facebook site, so I'm pretty sure I don't need to explain much more here. I even started my blog and facebook fan page so I would have a place to post things regarding politics and religion that I find interesting yet others may find offensive. Whether we like it or not, whether we adhere to one of the two parties, one candidate and his or her party will win, and it affects our day to day lives. So, I think politics is an important thing to talk about. I just try to be positive and support my candidate and the causes I care about and try to stay off the low road of insulting and criticizing the other candidate.
Here are some of my favorite pictures of the candidates in this election.
www.danaellyn.com
Religion:
In my opinion, religion was made up by humans to answer big questions like, "where am I from?" "why am I here?" and "where do I go after I die?" Different cultures think different things. Different religions teach different versions of the story. What do they all have in common? LOVE so, I'd say that LOVE is my religion! We are all brothers and sisters of the human race, sharing this wonderful life on this beautiful planet. I seek to find common ground with others and honor the place in others where we are the same person.
\
I am agnostic. That means I believe there might be a higher power, but I don't know what it is. There is no evidence to support or deny God's existence. I was raised Christian and celebrate Christian holidays like Christmas and Easter. My mom was a chuch organist and a devout Methodist, so as a child I was forced to attend church every Sunday for hours while she played three services. I'd attend Sunday School, a church service, then have an hour to kill during the third service. I would typically run around the church or sit in the car and listen to Casey Casem's top 40 countdown. When I was in the services, I remember daydreaming and doodling. I tried to listen. I really did. But it was so boring, and none of it made any sense to me. I remember sitting there doodling my imaginary married name and those of my future children and listening to an old man standing up telling me stories that didn't apply whatsoever to my life. I didn't like going, but I was forced to go until I turned 18.
When I went to college, I studied Buddhism, Taoism, Confucianism, and Chinese Philosophy. It opened up my mind to other ways of thinking. I realized Christianity wasn't the only religion in the world. I liked much of what the eastern teachings said and how they respect nature and aim to go with the flow of the universe. There is no external god in these religions. God, or the divine nature, lives within each of us. Heaven and Hell are experienced right here on earth. Life is reincarnated, and each life is determined based on the karma of the past life. Spiritual enlightenment means achieving a purely spiritual state and freedom from the wheel of rebirth. I like how the focus of eastern religions is on living life right here on Earth. It's the only life we are sure of, and indeed we all share the same divine spark.
When my first daughter was a few years old , I started going to Unitarian Universalist Church. People recommended that to me, and I liked the open minded philosophy. UUs believe we are part of an interconnected web of life and that no one religion holds the cornerstone on truth. They welcome all people including atheists, lesbian/gay/transgender people, and people of all religions and everywhere in between. They put emphasis on the spiritual search for truth, and honor everyone's individual path along that journey. Emphasis is placed on being grateful for every breath and on how to live our lives in positive ways.
Politics:
I'm a democrat and I support President Obama. I've voted in every election since I was eighteen, and I voted democrat every time despite being raised by a republican mother. I even worked for the Young Republicans when I was growing up in a DC suburb. I opened President Reagan's mail! I'm pretty sure it was my love affair with the environment and my genuine caring for those less fortunate than I that led me to lean left. The more informed I become on issues, I find that I fall left of center. I'm pretty vocal about my convictions on my facebook site, so I'm pretty sure I don't need to explain much more here. I even started my blog and facebook fan page so I would have a place to post things regarding politics and religion that I find interesting yet others may find offensive. Whether we like it or not, whether we adhere to one of the two parties, one candidate and his or her party will win, and it affects our day to day lives. So, I think politics is an important thing to talk about. I just try to be positive and support my candidate and the causes I care about and try to stay off the low road of insulting and criticizing the other candidate.
Here are some of my favorite pictures of the candidates in this election.
www.danaellyn.com
Religion:
In my opinion, religion was made up by humans to answer big questions like, "where am I from?" "why am I here?" and "where do I go after I die?" Different cultures think different things. Different religions teach different versions of the story. What do they all have in common? LOVE so, I'd say that LOVE is my religion! We are all brothers and sisters of the human race, sharing this wonderful life on this beautiful planet. I seek to find common ground with others and honor the place in others where we are the same person.
\
I am agnostic. That means I believe there might be a higher power, but I don't know what it is. There is no evidence to support or deny God's existence. I was raised Christian and celebrate Christian holidays like Christmas and Easter. My mom was a chuch organist and a devout Methodist, so as a child I was forced to attend church every Sunday for hours while she played three services. I'd attend Sunday School, a church service, then have an hour to kill during the third service. I would typically run around the church or sit in the car and listen to Casey Casem's top 40 countdown. When I was in the services, I remember daydreaming and doodling. I tried to listen. I really did. But it was so boring, and none of it made any sense to me. I remember sitting there doodling my imaginary married name and those of my future children and listening to an old man standing up telling me stories that didn't apply whatsoever to my life. I didn't like going, but I was forced to go until I turned 18.
When I went to college, I studied Buddhism, Taoism, Confucianism, and Chinese Philosophy. It opened up my mind to other ways of thinking. I realized Christianity wasn't the only religion in the world. I liked much of what the eastern teachings said and how they respect nature and aim to go with the flow of the universe. There is no external god in these religions. God, or the divine nature, lives within each of us. Heaven and Hell are experienced right here on earth. Life is reincarnated, and each life is determined based on the karma of the past life. Spiritual enlightenment means achieving a purely spiritual state and freedom from the wheel of rebirth. I like how the focus of eastern religions is on living life right here on Earth. It's the only life we are sure of, and indeed we all share the same divine spark.
When my first daughter was a few years old , I started going to Unitarian Universalist Church. People recommended that to me, and I liked the open minded philosophy. UUs believe we are part of an interconnected web of life and that no one religion holds the cornerstone on truth. They welcome all people including atheists, lesbian/gay/transgender people, and people of all religions and everywhere in between. They put emphasis on the spiritual search for truth, and honor everyone's individual path along that journey. Emphasis is placed on being grateful for every breath and on how to live our lives in positive ways.
I stopped going to the UU church in 2008 when a good friend died in a tragic accident, and the minister didn't have time to meet with me to help me with my grief. It may have been the failing of one man instead of the religion, but I realized then that there is no comforting story about what happens after death. I realized then that there really are no answers to what happens after death and that we just tell ourselves these things to make ourselves feel better.
It's really just science. Click here to see a video of what I mean by that.
To me, the universe is God, and the fact we have life at all on this planet is amazing and incomprehensible. The scientific revolution occurred thousands of years after the bible was written, so it's no surprise there is no science in the bible. Science has gone against much of what was taken as fact in the bible such as the creation/evoultion debate and the fossil record. The bible is a series of book written by many authors, and then only some of the books were published while others were left out. There is scientific evidence for much of the phenomena in our lives, so that's what I choose to believe. The rest of it is a mystery, and I bow down in humility to the higher forces of the universe that make life possible. I don't know where I was before I was born, and I dont' know where I will go after I die, but I do know that I am focused on living every day to its fullest and with love, kindness, and compassion in my heart. Life does go on, so I surrender to the ongoing force that was in place millions of years before my life and that hopefully continues on into infinity. I don't know what happens next, but I am certainly grateful for the life I've been given.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
30 Days of Truth: Day 18-Your Views on Gay Marriage
I wrote about this topic in August when Chik-fil-a was in the news about their donations to anti-gay groups. I think gay people should be able to get married. I just think it should be called something different. Click here to read the whole blog entry.
Friday, October 5, 2012
30 Days of Truth: Day 15 — Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
I couldn't live without my husband. I was engaged to someone else when I met him at the gym one day in June 1998. We became best friends and started running together several times a week. Then we went out on a double date on New Year's Eve 1998. At midnight, we kissed, and nothing has been the same since then.
I'd been having problems with my fiance over religion and the fact he never spent any time with me.
My fiance was Jewish, and I was Unitarian Universalist, although I was raised Christian and celebrating Christian holidays. I thought I wanted to convert to Judaism to marry him, but our first Christmas/Hannukah season I wanted to celebrate both holidays, and he only wanted to do Hannukah. It was a major problem. He also didn't spend enough time with me. He worked as a physical therapist Mondays through Fridays then worked at a bike shop on Saturdays and took on a job doing ski patrol on Sundays and otherwise would train for triathlons all weekend.
I realized that I spent all my spare time with my best friend but was engaged to someone else.
I tried for a few months to talk myself into going ahead with the marriage and hoping it would work out. I tried living a lie, but ultimately I listened to my intuition and broke up with my fiance and cancelled the wedding. It was liberating.
Deep down, I knew whom I truly loved and wanted to spend all my time with. We dated, got married, and had two babies together, a girl and a boy. We are celebrating our thirteenth wedding anniversary in a few days. I couldn't be happier, and I have no regrets!
I'd been having problems with my fiance over religion and the fact he never spent any time with me.
My fiance was Jewish, and I was Unitarian Universalist, although I was raised Christian and celebrating Christian holidays. I thought I wanted to convert to Judaism to marry him, but our first Christmas/Hannukah season I wanted to celebrate both holidays, and he only wanted to do Hannukah. It was a major problem. He also didn't spend enough time with me. He worked as a physical therapist Mondays through Fridays then worked at a bike shop on Saturdays and took on a job doing ski patrol on Sundays and otherwise would train for triathlons all weekend.
I realized that I spent all my spare time with my best friend but was engaged to someone else.
I tried for a few months to talk myself into going ahead with the marriage and hoping it would work out. I tried living a lie, but ultimately I listened to my intuition and broke up with my fiance and cancelled the wedding. It was liberating.
Deep down, I knew whom I truly loved and wanted to spend all my time with. We dated, got married, and had two babies together, a girl and a boy. We are celebrating our thirteenth wedding anniversary in a few days. I couldn't be happier, and I have no regrets!
30 Days of Truth: Day 14-A Hero Who Let You Down
If your dad is supposed to be your first hero, he is the one who let me down. He was cheating on my mom while she was pregnant, and they separated when I was only six months old. We moved to my grandparents' house in MD for a few years then to VA where I grew up. My dad stayed in Ithaca, NY working at Cornell University. He was hard working and accomplished, but he didn't visit us often (maybe once a year?) and didn't make much of an effort to call or be part of our daily lives.
The last time I saw him was at my brother's wedding in 1997, and he left for the airport in the morning without saying goodbye. Six weeks later, I got a call from my brother telling me our dad died from surgery complications for liver cancer. We didn't know he was going into surgery, and he never came out of it.
Heartbroken, I went to his funeral with my then four year old daughter. The service was all in Korean so I'm not sure exactly what they said, but we paid our respects and said goodbye to him. In the reception line, people kept asking his wife who I was. "Daughter" she said, pointing to me as I awkwardly shook hands and accepted condolences from people who never knew I existed. He left nothing for me in his will. It's like he never wanted me in the first place.
I have a hole in my heart from all the ways he let me down. I mourn the father daughter relationship that I never got to have. But, I'm glad I'm here, and I honor his spirit alive in me. It meant a lot to me that he asked me to edit his manuscript during my visit to Ithaca for Christmas 1997. He finished it just a few weeks before he died, so I edited it and self-published it for him. It meant the world to me to help bring his project to fruition and to share his story with the world.
http://www.amazon.com/Into-The-Vortex-War-Interpreters/dp/1434322610
https://www.facebook.com/jennifer.w.chapman.5#!/susanne23nelson?fref=ts
Monday, October 1, 2012
30 Days of Truth: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Dear Jewel,
You and your music have gotten me through some tough ass days. When I think about a band or artist who has helped me get through tough times, I think about when my toughest times were. I hit rock bottom when my first husband and I separated, and subesquently, I lived as a single mom for four years in my mom's house (1994-1998). I had a baby girl (same birthday as you!), and I lived in my mom's basement in Springfield, Virginia (a DC suburb) while I put my life back together.. A long time fan of the DC music scene, I remember when you first played at the 9:30 Club. Pieces of You was released in 1995, and Who Will Save Your Soul was always on the radio. People told me I looked like you in that video with the girl with a guitar singing in the bathroom.
Your voice caught my attention, and your story intrigued me. Like you, I had lived in my car before. I knew what it was like to be broke. I knew what it was like to struggle. I listened to your first album over and over and sang along to every track. I knew all the words by heart. Who Will Save Your Soul made me think about how we choose to live our daily lives. Pieces of You pointed out interesting parts of human nature. You Were Meant For Me was simple yet expressed the pain of heartbreak.
Previously a granola-type person who didn't shave or wear makeup, I started getting my hair highlighted, wearing makeup, and shopping for a professional wardrobe as I struggled to make ends meet as a single mother. As I learned to enhance my natural beauty, people kept telling me I looked so much like you. Being compared to you is a high compliment! I remember crashing the 1996 MTV Pre-Inaugural Ball in Washington, DC with a girlfriend, and reporters kept asking me if I was Jewel.
Spirit came out on CD, and I moved to Reno, NV in 1998. Down So Long, What's Simple is True, Deep Water, and Hands were instant favorites. Again, I loved to sing along with every song. I'd moved to Reno with a guy, and a few months later, it fell apart (long story). I met my husband there in 1998 and worked as a teacher for three years supporting my daughter. We were best friends, and then he stepped up to the plate and asked me to marry him. Shortly thereafter, we got married and had a little girl together in 2000. Your music inspired me to listen to my heart. What's simple is true - those words are very true.
In 2001, we moved back to VA so my husband could attend law school. 9/11 happened, and your song, Hands, became one of the songs being played to inspire people. This Way was released. Jesus Loves Me, Break Me, This Way, and Standing Still were my favorites.
From that point on, things in my life have been on an upward trajectory. As you and your music continued to evolve, I've always been inspired to be "the kind of woman I'd want my daughters to be." In 2010, I wrote this blog entry and ended it with lyrics from your song, You Are What You Are.
I play guitar, and I love playing your songs. I've seen you performing live many times including at Wolf Trap in Vienna, VA, S.Lake Tahoe,CA, and Bass Performance Hall in Ft Worth, TX. Your poetry and song lyrics continue to enrich my life and inspire me to be gentle with myself, to find beauty in the world all around me, and to follow my intuition for it will surely lead me in the right direction. My deepest gratitude for you and your music. Thank you Jewel!
Sincerely,
Susanne Nelson
You and your music have gotten me through some tough ass days. When I think about a band or artist who has helped me get through tough times, I think about when my toughest times were. I hit rock bottom when my first husband and I separated, and subesquently, I lived as a single mom for four years in my mom's house (1994-1998). I had a baby girl (same birthday as you!), and I lived in my mom's basement in Springfield, Virginia (a DC suburb) while I put my life back together.. A long time fan of the DC music scene, I remember when you first played at the 9:30 Club. Pieces of You was released in 1995, and Who Will Save Your Soul was always on the radio. People told me I looked like you in that video with the girl with a guitar singing in the bathroom.
  |
| Jewel in the video for Who Will Save Your Soul |
 |
| me in 1997 |
Your voice caught my attention, and your story intrigued me. Like you, I had lived in my car before. I knew what it was like to be broke. I knew what it was like to struggle. I listened to your first album over and over and sang along to every track. I knew all the words by heart. Who Will Save Your Soul made me think about how we choose to live our daily lives. Pieces of You pointed out interesting parts of human nature. You Were Meant For Me was simple yet expressed the pain of heartbreak.
Previously a granola-type person who didn't shave or wear makeup, I started getting my hair highlighted, wearing makeup, and shopping for a professional wardrobe as I struggled to make ends meet as a single mother. As I learned to enhance my natural beauty, people kept telling me I looked so much like you. Being compared to you is a high compliment! I remember crashing the 1996 MTV Pre-Inaugural Ball in Washington, DC with a girlfriend, and reporters kept asking me if I was Jewel.
Spirit came out on CD, and I moved to Reno, NV in 1998. Down So Long, What's Simple is True, Deep Water, and Hands were instant favorites. Again, I loved to sing along with every song. I'd moved to Reno with a guy, and a few months later, it fell apart (long story). I met my husband there in 1998 and worked as a teacher for three years supporting my daughter. We were best friends, and then he stepped up to the plate and asked me to marry him. Shortly thereafter, we got married and had a little girl together in 2000. Your music inspired me to listen to my heart. What's simple is true - those words are very true.
In 2001, we moved back to VA so my husband could attend law school. 9/11 happened, and your song, Hands, became one of the songs being played to inspire people. This Way was released. Jesus Loves Me, Break Me, This Way, and Standing Still were my favorites.
From that point on, things in my life have been on an upward trajectory. As you and your music continued to evolve, I've always been inspired to be "the kind of woman I'd want my daughters to be." In 2010, I wrote this blog entry and ended it with lyrics from your song, You Are What You Are.
I play guitar, and I love playing your songs. I've seen you performing live many times including at Wolf Trap in Vienna, VA, S.Lake Tahoe,CA, and Bass Performance Hall in Ft Worth, TX. Your poetry and song lyrics continue to enrich my life and inspire me to be gentle with myself, to find beauty in the world all around me, and to follow my intuition for it will surely lead me in the right direction. My deepest gratitude for you and your music. Thank you Jewel!
Sincerely,
Susanne Nelson
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
30 Days of Truth: Day 12-Something You Never Get Compliments On
I never get compliments on my singing. And I sing every day! Sometimes I'm sing along with songs in the car. Sometimes I sing along with songs on my iPhone or computer, while I'm working, cleaning, etc.
If I'm driving or riding in a car, I'm pretty much always singing. I put my iPod on shuffle and see what happens. The girls like to sing too, and I allow it, but when Joe is driving, he tells them to stop. He doesn't tell me to stop just because I'm an adult, but he finds singing in the car irritating.
Sometimes I make up my own songs. I invent silly songs that are, well, they are what all songs are..various sentences put to a tune. For example, I might sing about how much I love my kids and my husband. I might sing about feeling tired, lazy, happy, sad, or mad. It just depends on the circumstances.
I love music, always have and always will. People have told me to stop singing (I won't name names), and it's definitely something I don't get compliments on. I don't really care. I'm not trying to be a famous singer. I'm just going to keep being me and making joyful noise!
If I'm driving or riding in a car, I'm pretty much always singing. I put my iPod on shuffle and see what happens. The girls like to sing too, and I allow it, but when Joe is driving, he tells them to stop. He doesn't tell me to stop just because I'm an adult, but he finds singing in the car irritating.
Sometimes I make up my own songs. I invent silly songs that are, well, they are what all songs are..various sentences put to a tune. For example, I might sing about how much I love my kids and my husband. I might sing about feeling tired, lazy, happy, sad, or mad. It just depends on the circumstances.
I love music, always have and always will. People have told me to stop singing (I won't name names), and it's definitely something I don't get compliments on. I don't really care. I'm not trying to be a famous singer. I'm just going to keep being me and making joyful noise!
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Liebster Blogger Award: Grass Oil gave me this award. Thank you so much Molly! She's my friend from high school, and we reconnected at our ten year reunion and have been friends again ever since then. For a while I was lucky enough to live near her, and we had our youngest kids not too far apart from each other. She inspired me then that having three kids wasn't too much of a handful. And she inspires me now to blog and not care about what people think about it. I'm not a writer primarily, but I do like to write and I do enjoy blogging. She's the proud mom of three boys, and she's an introspective, funny, and opinionated writer. I appreciate being recognized by someone with her talent! So again, thank you Molly for mentioning me!
The Rules
- Each person must post 11 things about themselves.
- Answer the 11 questions the person giving the award has set for you.
- Create 11 questions for the people you will be giving the award to.
- Choose 11 people to award and send them a link to your post. Go to their page and tell them.
- No tag backs.
11 Things About Me:
- I'm allergic to fragrance and cigarette smoke. I'm really sensitive to smells.
- I'm half-Korean.
- I have a goldfish in my bathroom and another fish tank in the kitchen (not goldfish).
- I am learning to play electric guitar.
- I hate mornings.
- I don't eat wheat, corn, sugar, or eggs.
- I wanted to be a sleep scientist when I was a kid.
- I've had sixteen surgeries
- I hope to live to be 100 years old.
- I fly in my dreams.
- My back hurts.
My Questions for the future Liebsters:
- Are you a dog, bird or cat person? Why? I'm definitely a dog person because I'm allergic to cats! Plus you can't take a cat for a walk. And they poop and pee in a litter box then walk around the house...yuck! I have two dogs now, boston terriers (brother and sister), named Tom Brady and Marley respectively. Before them, I had a boxer and gave her away because she kept knocking my kids over. Before her, I had a husky/rottweiler/wolf mix named Jordan. She lived to be almost 14. She was the best dog ever! I also had Jordan's mom, Kelsey, before that. Kelsey gave birth to a litter of pups, and I kept Jordan and her sister, Freya. My boyfriend kept her son, Orion. When we got back together, we had four dogs together. On my 23rd birthday, he accidentally ran over Freya with my orange VW van while we were staying on a commune in Northern California. It was a traumatic experience. We went to replace her with another wolf-hybrid and ended up with two females, Lupus and Gray Cloud. We had five dogs at one time! I love the feeling of hiking/walking with dogs without leashes. It makes me feel free and part of nature!
- Favorite ice cream presentation: hard packed or soft serve? Cake cone or sugar cone? I don't eat ice cream anymore due to food intolerances. But in the old days, I used to like hard packed ice cream in a cake cone! My favorite flavor was chocolate mint chip.
- Favorite time of day: dawn or eventide? Sunset (evening) is my favorite time of day. Sunny afternoons are a close second. I am most definitely NOT a morning person. I take pictures at sunset all the time. I love how the sky is illuminated with patterns and colors! It's never the same thing twice.
- What do you like most in others? I appreciate kindness and compassion in others. We are all one people walking through our lives on this beautiful planet. I wish we could all live in peace and in respect of one another.
- What is the most frustrating part of your craft? That takes me defining my craft. I have a few crafts, so I will focus on my professional craft: teaching math. The most frustrating part of my craft is the negative attitude toward mathematics. Kids get frustrated. Parents are frustrated. People give up on math because it is too hard. I call BS! If we increase rigor in the elementary and middle school years, I believe our students would be better prepared for the abstract nature of the high school years. Kids need exposure. Kids need practice. Kids need encouragement. That's what my craft is about, and I'm hell bent on affecting change for the better!
- What do you do for exercise? I swim, do yoga, light weights, the rowing machine, the arm bike, walk, and bike. I also stretch and do squats and all manner of PT type exercises in random moments.
- What is your favorite personal quality in yourself? My favorite personal quality is my gregariousness. I have always been outgoing. My mom used to joke that I can make friends with a telephone pole. I do appreciate a wide spectrum of people and do my best to get along and find common ground with others.
- Is where you are right now in your life where you expected to be? Yes. Exactly. Well, almost. When I was young, I would look into the future and see myself as a comfortable married woman with children wearing diamond earrings. I am comfortable (thanks to my husband's glowing career as a health care lawyer), and I have beautiful children, and I have diamond earrings. I lost the backing of one of them, and I still haven't gotten it replaced through my insurance. Once I do it, I will be able to wear them again! Besides the material things, all I ever wanted was a husband and family. I have all that. I am eternally grateful!
- What would you change, if you could, about your life per your answer above? I would only change my current physical state. I don't want to be in pain every day. So I'm learning how to change things as best I can. I go to PT. I get massages. I work out. I rest. I focus on nutrition. I do what I can.
- What is the greatest sorrow you have experienced? The greatest sorrow I've experienced is losing my father and many other friends. See this blog entry about the one I feel the most involved with. I hate how death takes people away unexpectedly. Especially when they are young people who haven't lived full lives. Knowing that someone I once cared about and whose company I once enjoyed is now a lifeless corpse either buried or cremated is a horrible thought.
- What is your greatest joy? My children are my greatest joy. All I wanted to be when I was a kid was a wife and mommy. My dreams came true, and I am blessed with three children of my own and a stepson.
11 Blogs Receiving the Liebster 2012 Award (in no particular order):
- https://www.facebook.com/woman.wild.photo
- https://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=hp#!/AdventuresInWunderland
- https://www.facebook.com/pages/Mary-Tyler-Mom/159776680754263
- https://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=hp#!/goodacorn
- http://taylorsgift.org/taylors-place/taylors-place-blog/
- http://dragonflysamadhi.blogspot.com/2012/09/santosha.html?spref=fb
- https://www.facebook.com/MomBloggingForDummies
- http://www.elizabethfoss.com/
- https://www.facebook.com/pages/Its-a-Dome-Life/203144843081219
- https://www.facebook.com/CassandrasCorner
- https://www.facebook.com/pages/Dana-Ellyn/176599042352240
- What are your pet peeves?
- What's your favorite meal?
- What do you think about climate change?
- A friend of yours texts you one day and you don't answer. Then the friend dies the next day. What do you do?
- What can you do to make the world a better place?
- What's your greatest strength?
- What's your greatest weakness?
- What do you love about yourself?
- What do you hate about yourself?
- What dreams do you have for the future?
- Think of someone who needs your positive thoughts and energy. Write a note to them and send them some positive wishes.
Friday, September 14, 2012
30 Days of Truth: Day 11-Something People Always Seem to Compliment You On.
I get complimented for looking young. I frequently get carded to buy wine, and at restaurants with my husband I frequently get carded, but he doesn't. And he is five years younger than I am!
I got carded for NyQuil one time. I swear to God. My oldest (teenage) daughter was with me at the time. They said I could be her big sister or auntie. Maybe they thought we were going to use it to get drunk? As long as I don't lose my ID, I can prove that I'm more than double the legal drinking age!
I contribute this trait to my half-Korean genes. Thanks dad!
I got carded for NyQuil one time. I swear to God. My oldest (teenage) daughter was with me at the time. They said I could be her big sister or auntie. Maybe they thought we were going to use it to get drunk? As long as I don't lose my ID, I can prove that I'm more than double the legal drinking age!
I contribute this trait to my half-Korean genes. Thanks dad!
30 Days of Truth: Day 10-Someone You Need to Let Go, or Wish You Didn't Know.
Over the past several years, I've weeded out people from my life that I needed to let go. I've let go of some toxic and fake relationships. I've let go of male friendships that weren't healthy for my marriage. I've let go of family members who are impossible to deal with.
I've been thinking about this question for days and feel that I don't have anyone I need to let go or wish I didn't know. I'm a pretty real person. If you like me great, if not, no problem. I don't keep people in my life for no reason.
The people I need to let go are the dearly departed. I probably think too often of my friends and loved ones who have already passed away. It makes me sad to think of each loss, and it makes me worried about when it will be my turn. I worry about losing my husband or kids, and I worry about something happening to me. I'm not sure where we were before we were born, and I'm not sure where we go after we die, so it's quite a conundrum for me to think about. This life on this Earth is the only thing I am sure of, and too often it is cut short by tragedy. Accidents and illnesses take our loved ones away before their time. We are left here to cherish memories and hope to be reunited with our them sometime in the future. Spending too much time thinking about people who are gone is probably not the healthiest thing for me. I could probably stand to let go of those haunting thoughts and unpleasant memories of saying goodbye forever.
I've been thinking about this question for days and feel that I don't have anyone I need to let go or wish I didn't know. I'm a pretty real person. If you like me great, if not, no problem. I don't keep people in my life for no reason.
The people I need to let go are the dearly departed. I probably think too often of my friends and loved ones who have already passed away. It makes me sad to think of each loss, and it makes me worried about when it will be my turn. I worry about losing my husband or kids, and I worry about something happening to me. I'm not sure where we were before we were born, and I'm not sure where we go after we die, so it's quite a conundrum for me to think about. This life on this Earth is the only thing I am sure of, and too often it is cut short by tragedy. Accidents and illnesses take our loved ones away before their time. We are left here to cherish memories and hope to be reunited with our them sometime in the future. Spending too much time thinking about people who are gone is probably not the healthiest thing for me. I could probably stand to let go of those haunting thoughts and unpleasant memories of saying goodbye forever.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
30 Days of Truth: Day 9-Someone You Didn't Want to Let Go but Drifted Apart
The friend who comes to mind is someone I knew from my childhood (middle and high schools) and we reconnected as adults. She was my best friend for years. Our girls were a year apart, and when I was living at my mom's house as a single mom, we practically talked and saw each other every single day. We used to stay on the phone for hours and talked about just about everything. We saw each other at our worst moments and helped each other through some tough times. We helped each other with our kids since I was single and her significant other wasn't very involved. We were friends during her during her second pregnancy, and I was there when her son was born. I felt honored to be there as a support person. I moved away and got remarried and had my second daughter then we moved back to Virginia for five years. My friend and I reconnected, and she was there for me to watch my daughters when I went to the hospital to give birth to my son. We talked and visited and shared a wonderful friendship for many years.
Sadly, it came to an end when she got mad at me over a misunderstanding during happy hour with other girlfriends. I introduced one of my other friends to the hostess's husband and didn't introduce her. She got her feelings hurt and exploded with many things she had been unhappy with me about but had previously kept to herself. I was surprised and did everything I could to mend the relationship. She told me she didn't like how I acted when I got around other girlfriends and we drank wine together. I was sorry she felt that way and didn't mean to act differently toward her, but perception is reality, and her feelings were hurt. Our friendship was never the same.
I moved away again to Texas, and we visited Virginia in 2008. I visited with my old friend, and our daughters spent some time together. Things weren't the same, but it was nice to see her and talk again. We had another fight the night before I was flying back to Texas over a bra that my daughter borrowed from her daughter. She and her daughter called me multiple times that night to try to get the bra back. I was in an argument with my husband, and it wasn't a good time to take their calls. I offered to mail the bra back to her daughter once we got back to Texas as it wasn't a good time to deliver it back to her house. Since I was already in a fiery mood because of the argument with my husband, this time I was the sharp one. I expressed frustration that she put zero effort into repairing our friendship, but now this bra was so important that she and her daughter called me over and over again even though I told them it wasn't a good time for me to talk. At that point, our friendship ended for good. Since then, we have totally drifted apart. I haven't asked her to forgive me for getting mad at her that night, and she hasn't made any effort to be my friend. Her daughter decided to be sassy to me online about her bra, and I decided to report her to her high school cheerleading coach since her parents weren't going to do anything to discipline her. I'm pretty sure my ex-friend didn't appreciate me bringing her daughter's message to the school's attention, but as the parent of a high schooler at the time, I knew that frequently schools enforce respectful behavior on behalf of their athletes because how they act represents the school. I mailed the bra back to her daughter and never heard from her again. I've tried friending her on facebook, but she won't accept my friendship.
We always had our differences, but we also had many similarities. It's sad that our friendship fell apart, but in this case it seems that our differences tore us apart. I wish we could be friends again, but I'm not holding my breath. Once a friendship is broken, it's really hard to put it back together.
Sadly, it came to an end when she got mad at me over a misunderstanding during happy hour with other girlfriends. I introduced one of my other friends to the hostess's husband and didn't introduce her. She got her feelings hurt and exploded with many things she had been unhappy with me about but had previously kept to herself. I was surprised and did everything I could to mend the relationship. She told me she didn't like how I acted when I got around other girlfriends and we drank wine together. I was sorry she felt that way and didn't mean to act differently toward her, but perception is reality, and her feelings were hurt. Our friendship was never the same.
I moved away again to Texas, and we visited Virginia in 2008. I visited with my old friend, and our daughters spent some time together. Things weren't the same, but it was nice to see her and talk again. We had another fight the night before I was flying back to Texas over a bra that my daughter borrowed from her daughter. She and her daughter called me multiple times that night to try to get the bra back. I was in an argument with my husband, and it wasn't a good time to take their calls. I offered to mail the bra back to her daughter once we got back to Texas as it wasn't a good time to deliver it back to her house. Since I was already in a fiery mood because of the argument with my husband, this time I was the sharp one. I expressed frustration that she put zero effort into repairing our friendship, but now this bra was so important that she and her daughter called me over and over again even though I told them it wasn't a good time for me to talk. At that point, our friendship ended for good. Since then, we have totally drifted apart. I haven't asked her to forgive me for getting mad at her that night, and she hasn't made any effort to be my friend. Her daughter decided to be sassy to me online about her bra, and I decided to report her to her high school cheerleading coach since her parents weren't going to do anything to discipline her. I'm pretty sure my ex-friend didn't appreciate me bringing her daughter's message to the school's attention, but as the parent of a high schooler at the time, I knew that frequently schools enforce respectful behavior on behalf of their athletes because how they act represents the school. I mailed the bra back to her daughter and never heard from her again. I've tried friending her on facebook, but she won't accept my friendship.
We always had our differences, but we also had many similarities. It's sad that our friendship fell apart, but in this case it seems that our differences tore us apart. I wish we could be friends again, but I'm not holding my breath. Once a friendship is broken, it's really hard to put it back together.
Friday, September 7, 2012
30 Days of Truth: Day 8-Someone Who Has Made Your Life Hell
I've been thinking about this question for days. I don't like focusing on negative people or experiences. It's difficult to answer this question without focusing on and giving more power to the negative person or people. The best way to explain it is to write about how I grew from the experience.
What/Who was the problem, and how did I react to it?
How did I use that hellish feeling as an opportunity for growth?
I realized I have already written this entry, just not under this title. It's the entry called, "Pearls on a String" that sums up what happened on the day I quit my job in March 2012 (a first for me). As a teacher, the administration can either make or break you unfortunately. I learned some tough lessons about politics in the workplace, and I grew from the experience. Some blessings come in disguise.
Here's a link:
http://susannenelson.blogspot.com/2012/07/pearls-on-string.html
What/Who was the problem, and how did I react to it?
How did I use that hellish feeling as an opportunity for growth?
I realized I have already written this entry, just not under this title. It's the entry called, "Pearls on a String" that sums up what happened on the day I quit my job in March 2012 (a first for me). As a teacher, the administration can either make or break you unfortunately. I learned some tough lessons about politics in the workplace, and I grew from the experience. Some blessings come in disguise.
Here's a link:
http://susannenelson.blogspot.com/2012/07/pearls-on-string.html
And this song fits nicely here:
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