It is what it is...

It's that time of year again.  Tomorrow is the last day of 2010, and people are supposed to reflect on the past year and make resolutions for the upcoming year.   I usually participate in this socially imposed obligation, and I guess you could say that I'm participating again this year, but in fact when I reflect about myself and areas that need improvement for next year, I find myself making a non-resolution of sorts.  I resolve to accept myself exactly the way I am and not try to find ways to be better.  I think one of my faults is being too critical of myself and caring a little too much what other people think about me, so this year I resolve not to change a single thing. 

After all, isn't the passing of time an arbitrary concept?  Have you ever stopped to think about how we mark time? I have because I've taught it to my children and students before.  When you think about it, it's actually just a system to measure our existence.  60 seconds make a minute. 60 minutes make an hour.  24 hours make a day.  7 days make a week.  52 weeks make a year (or 365 days).  10 years make a decade.  100 years make a century and so on.  Isn't the passing of one day into the next a concept that is continually happening no matter what number we assign it?  In this view,  January 1st is really no different than December 31st except that we have decided to mark it as a 'new year.'  But to me, this doesn't mean the days are different at all or that there is anything significant happening that should make me want to change, or that resolving to do something differently means that somehow I will be aided by the fact that it is now 2011 instead of 2010.  Shouldn't we all try to be our best every day, no matter what? 

People usually like to make resolutions to meet some ideal picture of what humanity should be like.  We try not to eat too much, or drink/smoke too much.  We try to be nicer or more organized.  We vow to spend more quality time with our kids or to do something good for the world.  We promise we will exercise more.  We look at the negative aspects of our lives, habits, and personalities and try to wish them away with false promises to ourselves only to find ourselves at the next December 31st saying the same things all over again.  My point is that maybe we would be better off if we treated each and every day as a new year and accept the good with the bad, striving to be the best we can but also being ok with ourselves for being imperfect.  Without negatives, there are no positives, and we are imperfect beings, so maybe we would all be happier and better off if we just accepted ourselves the way we are.

It is fun to look back a year at a time and see the growth or lack thereof that has occured.  In my case, a year ago, I had just had my second ankle surgery and fourth knee surgery. I was laid up in bed not able to move around at all.  Today, my ankle is still sore and weak, but I am walking and able to do low impact activities. Yes, my life has changed significantly as a result, but that's ok.  As I drove to my mom-in-law's house today in Reno, NV, I gazed up in awe of the beautiful Mt. Rose with a fresh blanket of snow, remembering the day in the late 90s when I hiked to its summit at 10,776 feet.  I remember the days when I used to hike and bike in the 14,000 ft. mountains in Colorado and all the other amazing adventures life has afforded me.  I realize I will probably never experience that kind of joy and exhileration again, but I'm ok with that.  I'm now learning to enjoy kinder, gentler ways of staying active and fit, and I am thankful I was able to make those memories while I was younger and stronger.  I am thankful I can walk again, because a year ago that seemed very far in my future.

A year ago, we had recently found Joe's son, Brent, and were starting to make contact with him. Today, we have enjoyed two wonderful visits with him and have been in contact pretty much every day thanks to text messaging. I can't begin to explain how thankful I am, and all I can hope for the future is that we continue to get closer and that we can continue to have visits as frequently as possible. It's very rare that the universe  brings a person into your life when you are not expecting it, and his presence in our family's life has been a real gift.   He is an amazing young man!  I could go on and on about the reasons I am proud of him as well as my three children.

A year ago, I was a stay home mom and part time math tutor, and now I am a full time math teacher.  It's a challenge to juggle family life with work life, but as always I appreciate the challenge and am doing my best in all aspects of both lives.  I know I am not perfect at either job, but to me the most important thing is that I'm trying my best.  That's all I can expect of myself.  I've made some great new friends, and I enjoy being back in a professional atmosphere.

It's impossible to peek into my world without understanding the difficult things I deal with as well.  Primarily, I have a hard time with loss of loved ones, since unfortunately it has happened too many times in my young life.  Starting with my childhood babysitter who died with her brand new husband in car accident on their wedding night, continuing into high school and college with many friends losing their lives to accidents, murder/rape, and suicide.  Then as an adult with the loss of my father and grandmother and several other friends, including children of some friends who were taken way too soon.  I've struggled with loss repeatedly, and the only one I really feel at peace about is my grandmother who was 93 years old and died of natural causes.  She was the only one I got to say goodbye to.  Somehow in that case, it seemed ok since she had lived a long and full life and we got to anticipate her departure to the great beyond.  However, when people die unexpectedly, it leaves me feeling so unresolved inside, and I can't help but look backwards and relive old memories even though it makes me sad.  It's hard to write about and to share this with the world, but if you know me at all, you know that is part of what I carry around day to day.  I question a world that takes life away in such tragic ways, and I realize my own mortality and wonder when and how it will be my turn.  As I reflect on the past and look to the future, all I want is to find peace and acceptance that 'it is what it is' as my husband always reminds me, and that there is nothing I can do about it, so the best thing to do is take one day at a time and accept the pain of death with the joy of life and realize that without one there isn't the other.  We are born alone, and we die alone, and in between we are blessed with this incredible journey called life.  And just like taking a vacation, even though you know that one day the journey will end, there is no point worrying about it while you are still on the journey.  It's better to accept the fact that everything comes to an end and enjoy each day of the journey while you can.  It's funny to be writing about this today, because in fact, today is the last day of my vacation, and I know it's coming to an end but trying to enjoy every last moment of it while it is still today.

So, to summarize my thoughts, I am including lyrics from one of Jewel's new songs which says what I'm trying to say much more poetically than I ever could.  It's called, "You Are What You Are"  and it's about being ok with yourself because everything is already the way it should be.  Without dark, there is no light, without goodbye there is no hello, the opposing forces of the universe make everything the way it is.

I’m driving around town
Kinda bored with the windows rolled down

See a girl on the bus stop bench

Dressed to draw attention

Hoping everyone will stare
If she don’t stand out she thinks she’ll disappear
Wish I could hold her, tell her, show her
What she wants is already there



A star is a star

It doesn’t have to try to shine

Water will fall

A bird just knows how to fly



You don’t have to tell a flower how to bloom

Or light how to fill up a room

You already are what you are

And what you are is beautiful



Heard a story the other day

Took place at the local VA

A father talking to his dying son

This was his conversation



“It’s not supposed to be like this

You can’t go first I can’t handle it”

The boy said “Dad now don’t you cry,

Remember when I was a child what you used to tell me when I’d ask why?”



(You’d say) Gravity is gravity

It doesn’t try to pull you down

Stone is stone

It can’t help but hold its ground

The wind just blows, though you can’t see

It’s everywhere like I’ll always be

You already are what you are

And what you are is strong enough



Look in the mirror

Now that’s another story to tell

I give love to others

But I give myself hell



I’d have to tell myself

“In every scene there’s a perfect plan”

Everything I hoped to be

I already am



A flower is a flower

It doesn’t have to try to bloom

And light is light

Just knows how to fill a room



And dark is dark

So the stars have a place to shine

The tide goes out

So it can come back another time

Goodbye makes a love so sweet

And love is love so it can teach us

We already are what we are

And what we are is beautiful

And strong enough

And good enough

And bright enough

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJmwb3uHt5Q

left side

Mt Rose

right side

Messing with Texas

August marked four years since we moved to Texas from Virginia.  We moved here to take advantage of the housing market, and Joe was able to transfer with his law firm to their Dallas office.  We love our house, and the weather is nice and sunny most of the time.  Spring and Fall last a long time, summer is wicked hot, and winter is mild and short.  Southern hospitality is another perk.  Boys and men hold doors open for me, and when I say thank you, they answer, "Yes ma'am." Wow that's something you don't hear too often on the east coast.  Beyond those nice things, however, I have found a few reasons to mess with Texas:

1.  Gov. Rick Perry and his assertion that we should secede from the USA. No thanks. That's crazy talk!

2.  Joe Barton's apology to BP when they are the people who should be apologizing to the American people for ruining the Gulf.  He certainly doesn't speak for me, and it's embarassing.

3.  TX leads the nation in teen pregnancies.  Enough said.

4.  TX is last in the nation for organ donation.  Now that's sad.  I know somebody has to come in last place, but with as large a land mass and population we have, you would think more people would be aware of the need for viable organs and be selfless enough to register. 

Be a Hero, register at:  http://www.taylorsgift.org/      or    http://www.facebook.com/?ref=hp#!/TaylorsGift


5.  There are no state standards for supervision of students in schools. Instead it's left up to each principal of each school.  At my daughter's elementary school, they save money by letting parent volunteers watch classes instead of hiring substitutes when they have staff meetings on site.  I guess they think being a parent qualifies you to be a teacher.  At my son's preschool, they believe that 4 year olds are old enough to walk the hallways by themselves to prepare them for kindergarten where the same leniency is permitted.  Please.  They are 4 years old! They aren't old enough to supervise themselves!

6.  Christian hypocrites.  Christianity is in fashion here.  Even the teenagers think it's cool.  Too bad they aren't walking the walk the way they talk the talk.  They backstab their neighbors and are intolerant of diversity.  They wear purity rings and then turn around and lose their virginity in high school, hence the teen pregnancy problem.  Get real!

7. The state legislature recently approved a measure to rewrite the history books to reflect the conservative agenda.  How is that ok?  History is history and should be taught accurately.

8. No homework in the elementary school because homework is not good for kids.  WHAT??

9.  George Bush as President 2000-2004

10.  George Bush as President 2004-2008.  It's insanity to try the same things over and over and expect a different result.

11. Texas leads the nation in alcohol related deaths.

 http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40868244/ns/local_news-dallasfort_worth_tx/

12.  Texas leads the nation in emissions of greenhouse gases.

13.  Texas is also the only state in the union that refuses to have greenhouse gas emissions regulated by the EPA.  In fact, Gov. Rick Perry is suing the EPA over its finding that carbon dioxide is a greenhouse gas. Please.

http://www.npr.org/2010/12/30/132469407/texas-epa-escalate-battle-over-pollution-rules?sc=17&f=

14.  Texas lawmakers propose Christian language in funerals for non-Christian soldiers?

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/08/26/1010854/-Texas-lawmakers-fighting-to-insert-Christian-language-in-funerals-for-non-Christian-soldiers?via=blog_1

15.  Texas is ranked #44 out of 50 states in per pupil spending in public schools.

http://www.politifact.com/texas/statements/2011/jan/31/wendy-davis/state-sen-wendy-davis-says-texas-ranks-44th-educat/

16.  Texas is ranked #50 out of #50, that's right LAST or HIGHEST in the nation depending on which way you look at it, on the number of elderly and children who go without health insurance....and 50th in the nation for per capita spending for mental health.

17.  No cap on teacher/student ratio for middle and high schools.  The ratio for elementary schools is 22 students for every 1 teacher.

Justin Bieber?

Really? Best Artist of the Year?

It's bad enough to be one of his female co-nominees, powerhouses like Lady Gaga, but I feel especially bad for Eminem. He was representing the rest of the males in the category.  To lose to Justin Bieber....well, I'm not a male, so I'm  just speculating, but let's just say that I think Eminem needs a big hug right about now.  He's got my vote!

“The difference between school and life? In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.”  ~Tom Bodett

How true is this statement?  School prepares us for life. It teaches us how to learn. Life teaches us whether we like it or not. We learn lessons, ready or not.    What lessons is life teaching you?

I'm learning to juggle work and home, wondering if there is a middle ground between lonely, bored housewife and overwhelmed working mom.  Since I started working full time in August until this week, my new job has completely consumed my life.  Having this week off for Thanksgiving gave me some time to come up for air. It took a few days to get the house clean. I'm still going through unopened mail and balancing my bank account.  I'm making phone calls, fitting in doctors' appointments, and running errands.  I'm catching up on my favorite tivo shows, playing guitar, cooking, and reading.  I'm enjoying the company of my kids and the changing of the seasons.  It's hard to believe the holidays are upon us again, but it's true.  In just a few short weeks, we will be in Reno celebrating Christmas with Joe's family.

We are not the same. I am a martian.

WEEZY F BABY is free, and I'm ready for some new music! :)

Change Happens

How many times have you wanted to freeze time? When you look into your baby's eyes or when it's the last day of vacation when life is so sweet you never want it to change, you wish that things could always stay the same so you don't lose the feeling you have at the moment.  But try as you may, time marches on.  Babies grow, you always have to go back to work after vacation, summer turns into fall, trees lose their leaves and the landscape becomes barren.  Hair turns grey, skin wrinkles, hard bodies turn soft.  Waves come in and they go out.  Rivers flow.  Mountains erode.  Animals evolve.  People you love die, and life goes on.  Change happens.

On the flipside, when life gets hard and things seem as bad as they can get, you wonder if they will ever improve. You wonder if you will ever feel better or if circumstances will ever change.  The grass is always greener somewhere else.  One of life's challenges is to learn to go with the flow, to embrace the ever changing nature of the world and our lives.  When things are bad, they have to get better, and when they are good, you wonder when something bad will happen.  One thing you can be sure of is that tomorrow is a new day.  Change will happen.

I'm reflecting on the changes I've been through and the changes I'm about to make.  I morphed from a high school and college student into an environmental activist working for Greenpeace.  I got married and got divorced, becoming a single mom.  I got my master's degree and got remarried and taught school for six years while raising two daughters.  When we considered having a third child, I proclaimed I would only agree if I could be a stay home mom.  It was already far too stressful working all day and then coming home to two children, a tutoring job, and a house to run.  Joe finished law school and scored a great job at a large firm in DC, making it possible for me to stay home.  I thought life would be paradise.  I remember thinking I could go to Starbucks anytime, go to the gym, go shopping, essentially live like a princess.  I envisioned the stereotypical sitting around eating bon bons scenario.  When Thomas first arrived, it was wonderful not to have to work.  I enjoyed the peace and quiet during the day and was able to nap and be on his schedule.  As the years went by however, it started to get old.  As Thomas got bigger and more independent, I started to get bored and lonely.  I started looking for ways to fill my time since I had some extra time on my hands.  I played a season of adult soccer and took a College Algebra class at the local community college.  I published my dad's book.  I tutored math part time at home.  Much to my surprise, most moms I knew worked, so my days became full of doing dishes and laundry and paying the bills and cleaning the house.  Where did my princess paradise go?  Thomas and I did some fun things together, but I found more and more I was missing adult relationships and was losing touch with my professional identity.  Because I wasn't getting up and going to work every day, I got used to the sporty look, you know, pulling your hair up in a ponytail and being ready for a workout at the gym.  I started getting snide comments from pretentious women about my appearance.  They didn't seem to understand how or why I would be ok being seen in public without makeup and my hair done perfectly wearing shorts and a t-shirt.  I've always felt pretty strong inside and even though I was taken aback by such rude comments, I tried to remind myself I live in Texas where being pretentious seemed to be in fashion.  Besides feeling like a sore thumb surrounded by some rude barbies, I experienced frustration in other areas as well.  Joe tried to warn me not to play soccer because I would get hurt, but I didn't listen.  He was right. I got hurt.  I rolled my ankle running full speed then reinjured it later doing high kicks with Sierra, tearing a ligament all the way off the bone and tendons on both sides.  I had two surgeries to fix my ankle and two more to fix torn cartilege in my knee as a result of the ankle injuries.  I also had my appendix removed.  That's four surgeries in the four years we've lived in Texas.  I passed my College Algebra class with a B after a lot of hard work and met some new friends only to lose one of them in a tragic car accident.  My dad's book was a success as was my tutoring business, but my kids hated it when I tutored.  I worked Mon-Thurs after school from 4-6pm, and my kids resented the fact that as soon as they came home I disappeared behind a closed door and told them not to interrupt me.  They didn't care that was the way I made money.  They just wanted my time.

Now, Thomas is about to start kindergarten (full day) and I am so thankful I found a job teaching 7th grade math.  My life is about to change all over again.  I start full time on Wednesday.  I know the grass won't be the greenest and nothing is ever perfect, but I do think it's time I get back into society and use my education and skills and talents again in a professional setting.  I worked really hard to get my master's degree and am a licensed, experienced teacher who is capable of touching kids' lives.  My kids will be gone all day at school while I'm gone all day teaching, and when I get home I will be available to them.  I can help kids learn to love math and still have summers and vacations with my own kids.  I'm not sure how I will juggle all the work and responsibilities, but I feel I am making the right move. 

There are many moments in my past where I wish I could have frozen time.  There are many times I wish I could go back to and change, especially those moments where I lost someone dear to me.  But I realize that's not possible.  Life moves on.  Things happen, whether for a reason or not.  I realize now that all I have is today, this moment.  The past is gone and tomorrow hasn't happened yet, so all I can really focus on is now.  And what I want to do now is be the best I can be.  I want to use every moment from my past to touch the lives of the future.  I want to pour my love and energy into the people who matter the most to me, my husband and kids.  I know that everything can change in an instant, and for now I should be grateful.

The Beach

Beach Week is here... it's the one week a year we all look forward to. Joe took a week off work, I cleared my and the kids' schedules, and we packed up the van for a road trip to South Padre Island, TX. Our original reservation was for Destin, FL, but we cancelled due to the oil leak that is affecting the shores in FL. It's day 60 or something of the spill, and there's no end in sight. At least it hasn't reached the shores here yet. Our gulf view is of a wide expanse of blue water for as far as the eye can see, separated at the horizon splitting the hue into the lighter, more powdery blue of the sky. Brown pelicans and seagulls fly overhead, lucky birds who have yet to be drenced in black poison. For today and for this week, it seems they and we are in luck and can still enjoy the coastline.

I forgot how much my skin loves the sea. When we arrived, I was rashy and itchy, and now just two days into our stay, the salt water has soothed the spots and rough skin has sloughed off like my cares melted away when I rested in the afternoon sun. When I felt the sand between my toes, it was like reuniting with a long lost friend. As we approached the beach, I could feel a heavy sigh exhaling out of my lungs and my cares drifting lightly away in the seabreezes. The warmth of the sun stung my skin and soothed my soul. Time to relax....headed to a nice spot, put down our stuff, then jumped in the water like a kid again, bobbing in the waves, letting the water gently lift me up and push me down like a toy.

After some time, the peace was suddenly interrupted when I heard Joe calling me. "Susanne, come here! Hurry!" I saw him holding Thomas and Thomas was crying. Joe had that look on his face that he has when something is wrong and he doesn't know what to do. I treaded through the water and it felt as heavy as mud, dragging with every step I took. I was trying to hurry, but I had to fight the current. Then I saw the blood coming out of Thomas's nose and my heart sunk to the bottom of my stomach.

"What happened?" I said, with thoughts of broken bones and head injuries going through my mind. "Dear God please let him be ok" I thought to myself. Sure enough, he was crying, so I knew he could breathe and was conscious.

"He got crashed in a wave face first!" Joe answered, still several feet away.

We swiftly took him to the towels and chairs and sat him down to take a look. A few wipes with the beach towel, and thank goodness the bleeding stopped. I checked his eyes for signs of head injury. Nope they looked equal and reactive to light. He was answering my questions. When I looked into his nose, thank goodness, it was just coming from a cut, nothing more serious! I asked him where it hurt, and he pointed to his precious little nose and the skin between it and his baby lips. "Wight hewe" he said in between crying.

I gladly packed up my son and our stuff and retreated to the condo for some ice, AC, and some TLC from mommy. He was bruised and a little swollen, but mother nature spared our boy again, thank God. I guess we all have memories of being pounded like dirty laundry by the waves into the sand. You learn in an instant that mother nature is the boss and that while she may let you play on her shores, if you aren't careful, in an instant you can be crushed just like the rocks its pounding forces have changed into sand.

Back in the water today, I had the feeling of release, of total surrender to the magnificent forces which are obviously much stronger than I could ever dream of. My favorite thing to do in the water is just float on my back and be carried by the waves. Close second is going out beyond where they are breaking and jumping up and down as they pass by. Just as I'm enjoying the ocean's ride, Zoe asks if I want to play a game called jello. She explains all you have to do is jump up when a wave comes then go limp and float like jello, "Just let the wave take you wherever it wants to take you." Hmmm I was just thinking that, small world! Funny how the 10 year old mind can perceive the power of the ocean and turn it into a cute game.

Being on vacation brings our family closer together. We play chess and scrabble, and we color pictures of what we see during the day. We eat meals together and laugh and play together. Nobody has a schedule, and there is no pressure on anyone other than to hurry up and get sunscreened so we can going out to the beach! My senses come alive with the salty water and air, the sounds of the birds and the waves, the feel of the sun's warmth and the gritty sand and the cool, luxurious water, and the brilliant blue green of the sea juxtaposed against the burning hot sand. For just one week, we can forget about the stresses of every day life and enjoy ourselves in a beautiful place. Hopefully we can bring this feeling back to help us get through the next 52 weeks!

June has arrived

If it seems that my blog is monopolized by the subject of ALLERGIES, well that is because I suffer from a zillion allergies and they monopolize my world. Besides being a mom and tutor, I am pretty much the queen of allergies. It seems like I am always one step behind them too, trying to figure out what is it that is causing my symptoms now?? The past few nights have been awful, waking up with that roof of the mouth/sinus/deep inside my ears/head itching that won't go away. My eyes are crusty in the corners. I have hives on my arms and legs. My lips itch. I can't stop sneezing lately.

For the environmental stuff (dust, dust mites, trees/grasses, molds, cats, mildew etc.) I give myself two shots in the legs just about every week. I take allegra and use nasonex. For the chemical allergies (fragrances and 4 pages of chemicals) I try avoiding everything although that's pretty hard with people spraying sunscreen and perfume and don't get me started on guys who wear too much cologne. Foods? Well I know I'm allergic to corn and wheat and sugar since corn is related to cane sugar. I think I'm allergic to yeast but I don't want to admit it because I love wine and yeast is used in wine making. I think that's my next step - eliminate wine for two weeks. That should make life more interesting right?

It sure must be nice to be a normal person who doesn't have to worry about any of these things...

Today is June 1. The kids get out of school at lunch time on June 3. Time flies. Ready for summer!

Helpful Links for Corn Allergies

http://www.cornallergens.com/list/corn-allergen-list.php

http://www.cookingallergyfree.com/allergens/allergen_listing/corn_allergy

Mariah Carey Ft. Jay-Z, Akon & Lil Wayne - Bye Bye (Threemix)

TODAY'S GUITAR LESSON
I love this song, especially this remix! Figured out the chords and key, working on improvisation.

A picture’s worth a thousand words | Greenpeace USA

A picture’s worth a thousand words Greenpeace USA

We didn't win Greenpeace's "Save the Whales" photo contest but we were featured on the "Some of Our Favorites" slideshow! Hundreds of photos were submitted from all around the country asking President Obama to keep his promise and vote to keep the ban on commercial whaling when he meets with the International Whaling Commission on June 3.

Congrats Thomas!

Tonight Thomas graduates from preschool. He is officially ready for kindergarten to begin in the fall. Time for a chapter to close and formal education to begin. Just think K-12 then college and graduate school. Then he can go to work every day and be a big man just like his daddy. I wonder what he will be? For now, we will cherish his special day and our little boy who dreams of being a jedi or possibly Indiana Jones when he grows up :)

Happy Mother's Day!

Mother's Day 2010. I am queen for the day, which means it's my day off. It's one day where I can do whatever I want and I don't have to do any of the normal work associated with being a mom. I can sleep in and stay in the shower as long as I want to. I don't have to deal with any drama with the kids. Not doing any chores or cooking or shopping. In fact, all I want to do is relax, play guitar, do some yoga, read a book, and take a nap before we go to dinner at my in-laws' house. I'm savoring each moment and finding peace in the quiet house. Joe got me some knockout roses to plant in the front and back beds. I've been wanting to experiment with growing roses, and now I can! All three kids gave me nice hugs and kisses and Zoe made me a cute card. Sierra treated me to a specially made allergy free rotisserie chicken lunch. I love being a mom so much and feel so lucky to have three healthy and adorable children.

Sent my mom a dozen roses and a card to tell her we are thinking of her today. Hope she is having a nice day too :)

Food Allergy Meal Plans

To follow up on my last post about my experience with food allergies, I wanted to share some information about my diet and how I choose foods to eat. Instead of exhausting a long list of what you can NOT eat, I will stick to the things you CAN eat. There are a couple tricky things I've learned along the way in terms of what you can NOT eat and will share them first briefly to help you save time in learning them for yourself! For example, I never knew vinegar was distilled from wheat, but it is. So, vinegar is a no-no, along with all its products like pickles and vinagraittes and mayonnaise. I've also learned that cane sugar and fake sugars are off limits as well. Cane sugar is in the corn family, and I react every time I have it. I also learned that grapes have yeast naturally occurring under the skin, and that wine has yeast in it. I am a big fan of wine and have yet to fully give it up, and yes I do stay somewhat rashy all the time because I choose to keep my vice. But I do avoid grapes and other forms of yeast in general. There are lots of gluten-free items on the market these days, but if you are also allergic to corn, like me, gluten free does not mean corn-free. In fact I've found most gluten free products contain corn under another name like xanthan gum etc.

So, when it's time to eat, how do I choose? Fruits (except grapes) and veggies are always ok, and thank goodness I like them all. We've made the switch to grass-fed, free range beef and chicken, and we also buy the wild caught salmon (instead of farm raised) and natural pork. You have to be careful because lots of meats have starches or sugars in them and unless you read the package you wouldn't think of that. For example, rotisserie chickens have corn starch and are rubbed with spices that include wheat and corn starch (maltodextrin etc). Lunchmeats also contain sugars and spices so steer clear. Block cheeses work the best for me. Shredded cheeses frequently have corn starch added to prevent caking. This is true of all shredded cheeses including parmesan. Since I can't have bread or tortillas, I wrap things in lettuce and seaweed or just stick with salad or dinner entree style. I have found one brand of salsa (Herdez) that only contains veggies and nothing else. I cook with butter, olive oil, salt, pepper, and garlic. My salad dressing is olive oil and lemon.

Breakfast: coffee (with cream and honey), fruit, yogurt (I've found one brand that is only sweetened with fruit and doesn't have starch), rice cereal with lactaid, whey protein/lactaid smoothie (frozen fruit optional), gluten/corn/sugar free waffles w/ real butter

Lunch: veggie salads, cottage cheese, boiled eggs, chicken, shrimp, avocado, cheese, nuts, beans, tofu, any combo of lean meats, veggies, fruits, (block) cheeses, etc.

Dinner: meats, rice, potatoes, rice noodles w/ cheese or olive oil/garlic sauce, quinoa, veggies, salads, beans, tofu, lettuce wraps, home made soup or chili, home made spaghetti sauce

Dessert: fruit

Eating out is pretty much impossible since they always seem to have something starchy or sugary! I always talk to the chef about my allergies and ask for things as plain as possible, but some places can't accomodate my requests and I just have to do the best I can based on common sense. I pretty much know I will end up with a rash and belly ache after eating out, but sometimes it's worth it just for the experience. Food is such an enjoyable party of life, so it's hard to give up absolutely everything including dining out with friends and family. But I do my best to keep it to a minimum and cook at home as much as possible.

Food Allergies

A few of my friends have asked me for information regarding food allergies. So, I wanted to blog about it to let everybody know everything that I know. I have spent years figuring out what I'm allergic to and how to avoid the allergens.

First of all, I discovered my food allergies because of my eczema. I get really bad eczema on my lips, cheeks, eyes, forehead, neck, elbows, and knees. I have been through all the testing available to humankind and found out that food allergy testing is unreliable. There are false positives and false negatives all the time. So why bother with testing? That is the topic of another blog post. Today's post will focus on what to do next. So the testing says you aren't allergic to foods, but you still get eczema. Itching, painful eczema is nobody's friend, and it's time you do something about it!

The top five allergens are wheat, corn, soy, eggs, and yeast (in no particular order). To determine if you are allergic to one of these foods, you have to take one at a time and eliminate it from your diet for two weeks. See if there are any changes in your symptoms. I get eczema and I also get a belly ache. I started with wheat and then went to corn and then to yeast. I am allergic to all three. When I have any, I get a bad belly ache and a bad rash that lasts for a few days. When I leave them alone, my rashes subside.

OK, so I've found the culprits, now what? I have to eliminate these things from my diet completely. That is easier said than done in today's food market. So many things are pre processed. If they are pre processed you can pretty much cross them off your list. Corn and wheat hide under other synonyms like maltodextrin, modified food starch, xanthan gum, dextrose etc. You have to eat whole, real foods. I will follow up with a list of whole foods and meal plans you can follow.

Happy Birthday Zoe!

Zoe's 10 years old! She has friends spending the night and is taking a horseback ride in the morning.

Sierra tried out for Lariettes today and made it, congrats!!