Thursday, November 22, 2012

Susannes's World Has Moved

Please visit the new blog website at susannenelson.wordpress.com

Saturday, November 17, 2012

30 Days of Truth: Day 29 Something You Hope to Change About Yourself and Why?

I run late, and I would like to change that about myself because it makes other people irritated with me.  I don't mean to run late, and I try to be on time.  But, frequently I either underestimate the time it takes to get ready or to get some place.  

I understand the importance of being on time. I understand it makes a bad impression to be late.  Sometimes I just can't help it. 

At least I will fall on the sword and say sorry and admit this is probably my biggest fault.  I'm ok with identifying my strengths and weaknesses, and I do see running late as a weakness (mainly because it bothers other people).

Thursday, November 15, 2012

30 Days of Truth: Day 28-What if You Were Pregnant? What Would You Do?

Oh boy, pregnancy?  At my age?  I'm turning 45 this year, so it would not be a positive thing at all if I got pregnant (especially because my husband has a vasectomy).  If I got pregnant right now, I'd be in a whole lot of trouble and would need professional help from a psychiatrist I think!  If I was younger (in my childbearing years) I would welcome a new baby into the world.  At my age, I don't know what I would do.

30 Days of Truth: Day 27-What's the Best Thing Going for You Right Now?

My family is the best thing going for me right now.  I'm in a really great spot. My husband has a great job as a health care attorney, and he recently made partner. My twenty year old stepson is in the Army stationed in NY. My nineteen year old daughter is a sophomore at Texas Tech and involved in her sorority (ZTA).  My twelve year old daughter is doing well in her seventh grade classes and dancing eleven hours a week. And my eight year old son is also doing well at school in second grade and amazes me every day with his intelligence and insight.

I've achieved the perfect balance of being a person, a wife, a mother, and a professional.  The house is quiet during the day, and I use the time to workout, to learn guitar, to write, to learn math, and to do all the work associated with running a household including the finances.  Once the kids get home, I'm busy with them, and I also tutor math part time. I love that I can use my education and still be a full time mom.  I don't have any of the stress that comes with being a classroom teacher. Instead, I get to experience the enjoyment and fulfillment of working one on one with students on math-a subject I am passionate about. 

I feel very blessed to be in my position, and I'm grateful because my husband and I envisioned this life and built it step by step together. 

30 Days of Truth: Day 26-Have You Ever Thought About Giving Up on Life? If so, when and why?

This one is easy because NO I have never thought about giving up on life. I love my life, and no matter how hard it gets, there is always a reason to live. Especially now that I have children, I can't imagine being selfish enough to give up on my own life. 

I've known friends who have committed suicide, and while they may have found peace, it's so hard for the people they leave behind.

Life is a precious gift, and I intend to use mine to the fullest!

30 Days of Truth: Day 25-The Reason You Believe You're Still Alive Today

Honestly I have no idea why I'm still alive today. It's kind of a weird question.  It makes me think about the difference between determinism and free will.  If our lives are pre-determined, I supposed I'm still alive because I haven't reached the end of my path yet.  If our lives and deaths are created by our free will, then I'm alive because I haven't killed myself, and so far I've been successful in taking the necessary precautions to escape death.

I'm not really sure which theory is the actual truth, and I'm pretty sure nobody else knows either.  I tend not to believe in determinism, but who knows?  If it's in my power, then I do what I can to avoid death by avoiding disease and unsafe situations.  If it's not in my power, then I guess my efforts are futile, and whatever will be will be.

Every action we take creates a ripple effect that leads us down another path.  I read a book once that was all about this topic and whether or not it was possible to have parallel realities (each being different depending on the different choices we make and on the paths those choices lead us down).  It's called One by Richard Bach.

I can only remember one time in my life when I actually thought I was going to die. It was when I hung from the Triboro Bridge in NYC for Greenpeace to protest ocean dumping of toxic sludge. I need to write a separate entry about my experiences while working for Greenpeace. But during that action, we were suspended from climbing ropes above the East River for about nine hours. The police shut down the bridge and there were police cars all over the bridge and police boats in the water. A special operations helicopter flew underneath us with its lights off, which easily could have killed us. That was scary. I also remember when the police at the top of my rope threatened to cut my rope and put frog men in the water to fish me out. I looked up and saw police alongside my support people, and I looked down and saw divers in suits with inflatable boats. I started doing the math in my head, falling close to 150 ft. with climbing rope all around me into "hell's gate" of the East River. I wondered if I would die on impact or drown in the river coiled up in rope as the current sucked me down and spit me out downstream. The action coordinators on the ground handled things perfectly, communicating over radio that we were receiving live international news coverage, and if they cut our ropes they would be killing up to thirteen activists on live television. The police did the right thing, didn't cut our ropes, instead they gave us each an extra safety rope! So, in that instance I owe my life to Dave Hollister who coordinated and managed the entire action and to Scott Stoodley who protected my ropes and anchors and dealt with the police. Thank you Dave and Scott! Here is a picture (I'm the climber farthest to the right):


In hindsight, there were other times I was very vulnerable and could have been killed, but wasn't.  I lived outdoors in Colorado for a year and a half, and when I was in college I camped outdoors all the time.  Luckily, no crazy killers found me.

As an adult, I strive to take care of my health and stay fit to prevent disease. I firmly believe you are what you eat, and I have a weird relationship with foods because of all my allergies/intolerances.  I avoid wheat, corn, sugar, and eggs.  Although it's difficult to eat so clean in our society, it's worth it because I feel better and when I go to the doctor they tell me they never see numbers so healthy in my age group.  And then they ask me what's my secret. And I tell them, I eat right and exercise. Duh!  It seems so simple, but it's difficult to sustain on a day to day basis. 

I believe I'm still alive because I take care of myself and make safe choices in my adult life.  I believe I'm still alive because I've gotten lucky in averting death in the past when there was an opportunity.  I hope to live to be one hundred years old, and I hope to have a long healthy live with my family!


 


Monday, November 12, 2012

30 Days of Truth: Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter

To my husband:

1.  Can I get a? by Jay-Z because it was popular when we started dating, and it was frequently playing at the club where we went dancing on the weekends.
2.  Love Like This by Faith Evans because it's one of my original songs for my husband. I really never knew there was a love like this before.
3.  What's Simple is True by Jewel because it was on the first mixed tape I made for him and it speaks volumes about how pure our love was and how I took a leap of faith to be with him when he wasn't done with school yet or employed on a full-time basis.
4.  God Blessed the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts because it describes how I feel about my journey in finding the love of my life.
5.  Still the One by Shania Twain because after 13 years together he is still the one.
6.  Dreamlover by Mariah Carey because he is the one who made my dreams come true.
7.  Baby Boy by Sean Paul featuring Beyonce because it describes how I feel about him.
8. Forever by Chris Brown because I want to be with him forever.
9.  Heaven by Bryan Adams because once in your life you find someone..
10.  I Can't Help Falling in Love with You by UB40 because we did kind of rush into things, but I couldn't help it.
11. I Got You Babe by UB40 because I got him!
12.  Nothing Fails by Madonna because I'm not religious, but I feel such love, it makes me want to pray, pray that he will always be here.

30 Day Photo Challenge

I'm taking part in a 30 day photo challenge, hosted by DeBie Hive. Thanks for the idea!

Here is the list:

1 - Fantasy
2 - Create
3 - Season
4 - Light
5 - Macro
6 - Action
7 - Water
8 - Harvest
9 - Friends
10 - Personality
11 - Truth
12 - Animal
13 - Bravery
14 - Fear
15 - Self - Portrait
16 - Nourish
17 - Chaos
18 - Calm
19 - Frustration
20 - Gift
21 - Important
22 - Gather
23 - Feast
24 - Hope
25 - Adorn
26 - Tradition
27 - Celebration
28 - Love
29 - Share
30 - Family

Friday, November 9, 2012

30 Days of Truth: Day 23-Something You Wish You Had Done in Your Life

I wish I went to Korea with my dad and brother when they went. I wasn't invited, and I didn't find out they went until after my dad died in 1997.  I wish I could have gone for several reasons.  First, he had four brothers, and they had wives and children. That means although my Korean grandparents, father, and uncle are no longer with us, there are living relatives in Korea that I've never met.  I'm told they don't speak English, and neither my brother nor my step-mom keep in touch with any of them. 

I wish I could have gone to Korea while my father was still alive so I could have met his family in person, see their culture, and see and hear about his experiences there first hand.  He wrote a manuscript about his experiences in South Korea during the Korean war.  He went to college in Seoul and struggled to stay alive in South Korea during the Korean war. 

Here is a link to his book on amazon.com  http://www.amazon.com/Into-Vortex-War-Interpreters-Encounter/dp/1434322610/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1253797943&sr=1-1

I  never met my Korean grandparents, but I heard they both lived to be over one hundred years old.  Both of those things (going to Korea and living to be one hundred) are on my bucket list.  Thankfully, genetics are on my side.

Isn't it freaky how much I look like my Korean grandmother in these pictures?


I do love my life and am thankful for exactly where I am in my life, so I don't really regret anything from the past.  It's hard to say what would have been different now if I had done anything differently.  But for the sake of the exercise, if I could go back and do everything again, I would have somehow invited myself to join them on a trip to Korea to get in touch with my heritage.


Thursday, November 8, 2012

Eddie Vedder

I got tickets today to see Eddie Vedder next week, and I'm so excited I can barely stand it!! I have never seen him or Pearl Jam, but I love him and their music. He's awesome in the band, and I fell in love with his solo work after seeing the movie, Into the Wild. the soundtrack is all Eddie Vedder. Not typically a fan of the ukulele, I downloaded his new album from itunes and love it. Eddie brings a certain charisma and talent to make even a ukelele song sound good. He postponed his solo tour in April, and he will be on Dallas only for one night. I can't wait to see him performing live!!

My Boy and His Birthday

Thomas lost his seventh tooth today, his last day of being seven. He's barely a little kid anymore. Tomorrow we start a fun weekend of celebrating his eighth birthday. I will visit school and take him lunch and donuts to share with his classmates. He doesn't like cupcakes. So he asked for donuts. We plan to have dinner at Jinbeh (his choice) and then to have red velvet cake (again, his choice) and presents at home afterwards.

We have a surprise present for him. Can't wait to tell him we are going to spend Saturday night at Great Wolf Lodge! It's what he wanted, but he doesn't think he is getting it.

Sunday we will go to Main Event for laser tag, bowling, and arcade games. I've never been there but I've heard it's really fun.

Our little guy is growing up! He came into the world at 4:53am on 11/09/04 with his left hand under his chin. He is a thinker and loves learning. I remember having contractions every fifteen minutes that day, and I tutored a student that evening. It was a peaceful delivery, and our sweet boy has been a blessing in our lives ever since.

We wanted a boy, and we got one! I am so grateful for the gift of having a son. Tomorrow, we will have an eight year old son. It feels like the end of an era of sorts. Only a small window of time left to enjoy his years as a small child. I absolutely love that I can be a mom full time to enjoy it!!

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Feel The Emotion In The President


Fired up and ready to go!
 
Today is election day in America.  It's the day we celebrate democracy by using our votes to select the candidate we believe is best for the job. Let's finish what we started and keep moving forward.
 
 I support President Obama.

Growing up in a Washington DC suburb, I remember hearing about presidential politics from a young age.  I met President Carter when I played Suzuki violin with his daughter, Amy.  I went to President Reagan's inauguration.  I went to a pre-inaugural ball for President Clinton's reelection.  I've toured the white house and the capitol building (and many other monuments and museums downtown).  I voted in every election since I turned eighteen.  I'm interested in news and politics, and I'm excited about the election.  I hope we know the results tonight. 



My nineteen year old daughter doesn't want to vote because she doesn't know enough about the issues to decide.  She says she doesn't want to vote for President Obama just because her parents vote for him, and she doesn't want to vote for Governer Romney just because her friends vote for him.  This is the first presidential election she's been old enough to vote, so I can understand that, but I encouraged her to get informed on the issues so she can pick one.  I sent her a link to a quiz to help her.  I took it too.  We live in Texas, and while Dallas County will go to the President Obama, overall it's a republican state.  So, I can see why it's hard for her to decide.  But, I hope she does decide, and I hope uses her vote today. 

The same goes for my twenty year old stepson.  He said he registered to vote, but last time we talked about it, he said he was still undecided also. 

Just remember a few reasons why it's important to get out and VOTE...
  • Someone is going to win the election and be president for the next four years. 
  • People fought for the rights of black and female voters. 
  • Some countries do not live in a democracy. 
  • Each voice has an opportunity to be heard.
  • Voting is a civic duty.

Monday, November 5, 2012

30 Days of Truth: Day 22-What is something you wish you hadn’t done in your life?

I moved to Texas in 2006.  A year later, my daughter's soccer coach, a very likeable friend, talked me into playing with her on a women's over 40 league.  Despite my husband's warnings, I played one season in the fall of 2007.  Now, I wish I never did that.

I started playing soccer in fourth grade and continued through my freshman year in college when I played center halfback for Hollins College.  In 1989, I started rock climbing and spent my twenties adventuring outdoors.  I never hurt myself playing soccer back in the day, but I do remember having sore feet and that the trainers used to tape my feet and ankles before games.  I thought I'd be able to play again and just be careful not to get hurt. 

During one of the games, I rolled my right ankle running full speed, heard and felt a crack, and fell to the ground in pain.  I put on someone else's ankle brace and tried to finish the game but couldn't.  I limped around for a few weeks and then saw a doctor who put me in a brace and then a boot.  An MRI showed a partial tear, but it healed on its own after a few months.

BUT, that injury led to a cascade of other injuries that have changed my life completely.
*tore cartilege in my right knee December 2007 while in the walking boot for the torn ankle (had surgery to fix that)
*rolled my right ankle again in April 2009 doing high kicks with my then high school aged daughter who was trying out for varsity drill team
*two surgeries on the right ankle to fix the torn ATFL (all the way off the bone) and tendons in the back on both sides) in August and December 2009 (and in the December surgery, they also fixed my torn cartilege again in my right knee because it tore again from walking around in the walking boot).
*tore cartilege again in my right knee putting on shoes (had another surgery to fix that in September 2011).

The first and last time I tore my knee, it was the kind of tear where my leg was locked in the bent position until they could get me in for surgery.  I never had lower back pain until I hurt my ankle the first time playing that one season of adult soccer.  As soon as I hurt my ankle, it was a chain of events, one after the next, and now I have had two ankle surgeries and five knee surgeries on my right leg.  I still walk with a little limp and have a handicapped parking sticker because I can't walk very far without pain.  I don't do any more outdoor sports or ball sports. I don't run anymore, and I don't jump anymore.  I miss being more active, but I am still thankful I can get around and am in relatively good health. 

But I sure wish I didn't play that one season of soccer because I was able to do a whole lot more activities before I hurt myself.

left side

right side

30 Days of Truth: Day 21-Day 21 - (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

I go straight to the hospital and apologize and be there for my best friend to support her while she is recovering.  Easy.

The gremlin voice

My gremlin voice speaks to me all the time. It tells me to be better, to do more, and to care about what everybody else is thinking. Sometimes it makes things up just to make me worry more.  Since I read an article about negative self-talk (the gremlin voice), I've been more aware of its daily presence in my life.  It tells me my skin is bad, I'm gaining weight, my clothes don't fit right, my house isn't clean enough, that I can be forgetful, and that I run late. When I do something silly, it tells me I'm so stupid.  It carries around old stories and chronic pain and convinces me that I can never be free from injuries or at peace with the past.



I'm working on recognizing when my gremlin voice is speaking and then how to let those thoughts slip away like leaves being carried down a stream.  I'm learning to quiet my mind and to be more kind to myself.  It's a process to undo old habits and to start new, positive self-talk.  I'm saying goodbye to those negative ideas that bring me down and finding more opportunity to see the good in myself.





The other day, I opened this horoscope from the Daily Om, and it fits nicely here. 

November 3, 2012
How to Quiet the Mind On-Line Course
by Gina Lake

The following is an excerpt from the "How to Quiet the Mind" on-line course. If you would like to take the entire course, click here.

The mind is a wonderful tool for thinking, but it has a dark side. There is an aspect of the mind that is not useful but pretends to be useful, which is called the egoic mind. It is the aspect of our mind that chats with us as we move about our day. It is the "voice in our head," as Eckhart Tolle calls it. Much of the time, this voice seems like our own thoughts and our own voice, and we often express these thoughts (e.g., "I love doing that!" "I can't wait until tomorrow." "I wonder what will happen"). At other times, this voice is like the voice of a parent or other authority figure or a friend (e.g., "You should try harder." "Don't forget to take your vitamins." "Wouldn't it be fun to try that!"). It may even seem evil or mean (e.g., "You never do anything right. You're worthless. You might as well give up"). We tend to take this voice seriously—we believe it, agree with it, and don't question it. We believe it because we are programmed, or wired, to believe our ow! n thoughts, regardless of whether they are true and helpful or not.

Not only do we believe these thoughts, but we believe they are "ours." We identify with them—we feel they reflect who we are. We don't tend to question our own thoughts, although we readily question other people's thoughts, especially if those thoughts are different from ours. But when we stop and examine what this mental voice is saying, we discover a lot of contradictory advice, misinformation, prejudices, judgments, and other negativity. This mental voice is often unkind, belittling, fearful, self-doubting, judgmental, complaining, confused, and unhelpful.

It turns out that the voice in our head is not a very good guide to life, and yet we tend to accept what it says and do what it suggests. This voice, in fact, is the cause of human suffering. It fights life, rails against it, and is discontent and afraid. It is the voice of the false self—the ego—not the true self. The thoughts that arise in our mind cause every negative emotion we experience: fear, guilt, anger, jealousy, shame, sadness, resentment, envy, hopelessness, worthlessness, and depression. Without these thoughts, we would live in peace within ourselves and in harmony with others. But you already know this, don't you?

The funny thing is that we can see the truth about the egoic mind and still be entranced by it, still be mesmerized by it. The programming to pay attention to and believe this aspect of the mind is very strong, and it takes not only seeing the truth about it, but also a practice, as in meditation, of not giving our attention to this mental voice before we gain enough distance from it to experience freedom and the joy and peace of our true self, or Essence, as I like to call it.

The reason for moving out of the egoic mind and into the Now is to experience who we really are. Our thoughts represent the false self, the ego. In fact, all the false self is, is thoughts. There is no substance, no thing, that is the false self—only thoughts. The false self is made up of ideas about yourself: "I'm a woman, I'm a mother, I don't like traveling, I'm middle-aged, I like blue, I'm married, my father deserted me when I was young, I want to be a novelist, I'm not pretty enough," and so on. Such ideas create an image and sense of yourself, but you are not an image or even this sense of yourself. Images aren't real or true. Feelings about yourself aren't even real or true, since they are based only on thoughts, which aren't real or true. Who you really are has nothing to do with any of these ideas, feelings about yourself, or stories you tell about yourself.

Your true self is the experience of yourself existing in this moment, free of such constructs, stories, and self-images. To experience your true self, or Essence, you have to move out of your self-images and thoughts about yourself into the experience you are having right here and now, absent of thoughts and self-images, which obscure who you really are. We become entranced by our thoughts and overlook reality—the real experience we are having here and now. The egoic mind, however, doesn't want you to stop paying attention to it, so it continually tries to engage your attention. It persists in this because this is how the false self is maintained. If you stop paying attention to your thoughts, the false self disappears, and all that's left is Essence—the real you who is experiencing this moment.

There is something else here besides this character you suppose yourself to be, and that's what is actually living your life. This that you truly are is looking out of your eyes, hearing sounds, reading and understanding these words, and having every other experience that is part of this very unique and potentially delightful moment. What else are you experiencing besides reading? What colors are you experiencing? What sounds? What sensations? What intuitions? What drives? What insights? What is the Being that you are experiencing right now?

The more we bring our focus into the present moment and onto our actual experience (as opposed to focusing on our thoughts), the more we experience the joy and contentment of the spiritual being that we are. This that we are is having a wonderful time having this adventure we call life. It embraces all of it—every experience. When we come into the Now, we experience the peace, joy, contentment, wisdom, patience, kindness, and strength of our true nature. At our core, we are all loving and joyous beings! It is only identification with the egoic mind that makes us feel and act otherwise. The only thing that interferes with the experience of Essence is absorption in thought. Imagine that! The egoic mind is the only thing that interferes with living more lovingly and more at peace with ourselves and the world. We are all beautiful and amazing creations!

My intention is to help you see the truth about your ego and the egoic mind so that you can more easily and more consistently experience who you really are. Fulfillment and true happiness is found by dropping out of our ego and egoic mind (the false self) into the Now—into the experience of Essence. That is what we are about here. The practices, explorations, video, and guided meditation offered in this lesson are a very important part of this discovery. Please give yourself fully to them this week. Sending all love and blessings…

Definition of Terms

The Now: The Now is defined most simply as the present moment. Of course, the present moment is all that exists, since the past and future are simply thoughts about the past and the future. But because we are programmed to pay attention to our thoughts, we often fail to notice what is actually going on now. Most people live in a mental world. When we drop out of this mental world into the Now, we experience a depth, a richness, and a joy and peace that feel sacred. This is the experience of our true self, or Essence. So, when we talk about being in the Now, we are also talking about this experience of Essence.

The ego: The ego is the idea of who we are (not who we really are) that is created by thoughts about ourselves: "I am fat, tall, a father, a hard worker, a musician, not good enough." These thoughts create the false self, the sense of who we are as an individual. The ego is also a primitive aspect of the mind related to survival and the storehouse of conditioned ideas and beliefs.

The egoic mind: The egoic mind is the aspect of the mind that reflects and is driven by the ego. It is the voice in our head that chats with us and chatters on. It is the ongoing mental commentary that we think of as our thoughts. The egoic mind is different from the functional or practical aspect of the mind that we use to read, learn, calculate, analyze, and so forth. The functional mind doesn't speak to us but is a tool we use when engaged in tasks that require us to think.

Conditioning: Our conditioning is comprised of beliefs, opinions, judgments, “shoulds,” and any number of other ideas that belong to our psychological makeup, most of which we acquired from other people, particularly from those who raised us, from our culture, and from what we have experienced and concluded about life. This conditioning affects what we like and don't like and how we see and react to the world, and we often respond unconsciously to it without realizing we have a choice.

Essence: Essence is who we really are, the divine Self that is living this life through us. It is our essential goodness. We are actually spiritual beings playing at being human beings.

Practices: To be done throughout the week:

1. Practice being aware of your thoughts. Where do thoughts come from? Thoughts arise out of nowhere. Just because a thought is happening in your own head doesn't mean it is any more true than a thought that arises in someone else's head. What is arising in your mind right now? Where did it come from? Someone? Something you read? Something you were taught? A TV commercial? Is it true? Is it wise? Is it useful in this moment? Is it helpful or destructive? How necessary are most of your thoughts? Do you need them to function? Do they help you function better or not? How do they make you feel?

2. Notice how uninterested the mind is in the present moment. It's fascinated with the past and the future, and it likes to evaluate the present, but the mind finds nothing of interest in the actual experience of the moment. Notice this. Notice how persistently your mind makes suggestions for thinking about something or doing something other than just being in the moment and responding to whatever is coming out of the moment. The mind has a job to do, and that job is to keep you out of the Now. How does your mind attempt to keep you out of the moment? Which tactics are the most successful at getting you to turn away from the Now? A memory? A fantasy? A desire? A fear? A should? A judgment? A thought about food, sex, time, imperfection, cleanliness, being successful, or how you look? How long do you actually stay in the Now before you go unconscious and rejoin the egoic mind?

3. Notice how much you like to be involved with the egoic mind and with thoughts about yourself and how your life is going. What wants to think is the ego, the false self; and what is capable of being aware of thoughts and of the desire to think is Essence. Whenever you are having the experience of thinking or wanting to think, it's also possible to realize that the Noticer (Essence) is perfectly content with just noticing whatever is arising in the moment and responding to that without a lot of thought.

Explorations: Do just one of these explorations, or inquiries, a day.

1. Take some time to examine what you are referring to when you think the thought "I." Try to find the I you're referring to when you're thinking about yourself. Can you locate it anywhere? You may point to your body when you say “I,” but the I isn't just the body is it? Does the I reside in the body? If it resides in the body, what is it that's aware of your body and your thoughts and even able to contemplate this question? Could that awareness be who you really are? Is awareness—consciousness—limited to the body or the mind? What if you were that awareness, and you were just pretending to be attached to a particular body-mind for the experience it provides consciousness? Who would you be then?

The real you is not your body, your mind, your personality, or any of the things you call yourself. What are such labels, after all? They are just ideas, concepts. Are you an idea, or are you what is aware of the ideas, labels, thoughts, desires, and feelings of a particular body-mind?

2. What are you aware of right now? If you are aware of a thought, ask: “Who or what is aware of this thought?” If you are aware of a feeling, ask: “Who or what is aware of this feeling?” If you are aware of a sensation, ask: “Who or what is aware of this sensation?” Take sufficient time with each of these questions to allow yourself to experience that which is aware of a thought, feeling, or sensation. The real you is what is aware of every thought, feeling, sound, sensation, intuition, urge, and insight—everything you are aware of. You are that which is experiencing this life, and That has no gender, age, past, future, or any other specific definition, but is pure Awareness, Consciousness. Who is it that is aware of the thoughts that define you? Is it the character you seem to be, or is there something else here that is character-less, that is just purely experiencing life, without ideas about liking or disliking, having or not having, wanting or not wanting?

3. Get a pencil and paper, and jot down a description of the character that your mind describes as you. What characteristics and qualities belong to that character? What does that character look like? How does that character behave? How does it feel much of the time? What are its beliefs? How does it see itself in relationship to others and to the world? This is the character you are playing, but it isn't who you really are. You are what is able to contemplate this character.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

30 Days of Truth: Day 20-Your Views on Drugs and Alcohol

My views on drugs and alcohol...I think they are things people use to make themselves feel different. They alter our moods, physiology, and psychology. People use them to escape stress and to celebrate happy times. People use them recreationally and the effects are as broad ranging as the products.

Alcohol:  I love my wine, chardonnay with heavy oak to be specific.  I no longer drink beer or liquor (except for the occasional tequila shot) because they are all distilled through grains, and I am intolerant of wheat and corn.  I also avoid sugar, so anything mixed with liquor is a no-no.  I will stick with wine thanks.  I associate drinking chardonnay with time with my girlfriends.  It's so fun to hang out with a group of friends and unwind while the kids play and eat snacks.  I started a happy hour tradition in Virginia with some other mom-friends, and since we've moved to Texas, it's morphed into neighborhood parties occasionally.   



Medicinal use of drugs is one thing. People take prescriptions for various physical ailments and conditions. Medicinal marijuana is legal in some states and helps people cope with debilitating symptoms.   I don't see anything wrong with medicinal use of drugs.  In fact, I keep a few pharmaceutical companies in business with all the prescriptions I take for chronic conditions.

Using hard drugs sucks.  Drugs like heroin, cocaine, ecstasy, and meth are addictive and deadly.  As a parent and educator, I would tell young people to stay away from them at all costs.   I'll never forget the first funeral I took my teenage daughter to in 2007.  The big brother of one of her friends OD'd by accident during his senior year of high school.  It was heartbreaking to see him lying there in his coffin, knowing it was an awful mistake that could never be taken back.  His entire future was lost because of doing drugs.  Not worth it, in my humble opinion.

Friday, October 19, 2012

30 Days of Truth: Day 19 - What Do You Think of Religion? or What Do You Think of Politics?

Religion and Politics...the third rail.  These are two topics people often say NOT to talk about.  However these are also two topics that are on my mind on a daily basis.  Since this prompt asked...let me answer the questions.

Politics:
I'm a democrat and I support President Obama.  I've voted in every election since I was eighteen, and I voted democrat every time despite being raised by a republican mother.  I even worked for the Young Republicans when I was growing up in a DC suburb.  I opened President Reagan's mail!  I'm pretty sure it was my love affair with the environment and my genuine caring for those less fortunate than I that led me to lean left.  The more informed I become on issues, I find that I fall left of center. I'm pretty vocal about my convictions on my facebook site, so I'm pretty sure I don't need to explain much more here.  I even started my blog and facebook fan page so I would have a place to post things regarding politics and religion that I find interesting yet others may find offensive.  Whether we like it or not, whether we adhere to one of the two parties, one candidate and his or her party will win, and it affects our day to day lives.  So, I think politics is an important thing to talk about. I just try to be positive and support my candidate and the causes I care about and try to stay off the low road of insulting and criticizing the other candidate. 

Here are some of my favorite pictures of the candidates in this election.

www.danaellyn.com




Religion:

In my opinion, religion was made up by humans to answer big questions like, "where am I from?" "why am I here?" and "where do I go after I die?"  Different cultures think different things.  Different religions teach different versions of the story.  What do they all have in common?  LOVE  so, I'd say that LOVE is my religion!  We are all brothers and sisters of the human race, sharing this wonderful life on this beautiful planet.  I seek to find common ground with others and honor the place in others where we are the same person.
\


I am agnostic.  That means I believe there might be a higher power, but I don't know what it is.  There is no evidence to support or deny God's existence. I was raised Christian and celebrate Christian holidays like Christmas and Easter.  My mom was a chuch organist and a devout Methodist, so as a child I was forced to attend church every Sunday for hours while she played three services. I'd attend Sunday School, a church service, then have an hour to kill during the third service. I would typically run around the church or sit in the car and listen to Casey Casem's top 40 countdown.  When I was in the services, I remember daydreaming and doodling.  I tried to listen. I really did.  But it was so boring, and none of it made any sense to me.  I remember sitting there doodling my imaginary married name and those of my future children and listening to an old man standing up telling me stories that didn't apply whatsoever to my life.  I didn't like going, but I was forced to go until I turned 18. 

When I went to college, I studied Buddhism, Taoism, Confucianism, and Chinese Philosophy.  It opened up my mind to other ways of thinking.  I realized Christianity wasn't the only religion in the world.  I liked much of what the eastern teachings said and how they respect nature and aim to go with the flow of the universe.  There is no external god in these religions.  God, or the divine nature, lives within each of us.  Heaven and Hell are experienced right here on earth.  Life is reincarnated, and each life is determined based on the karma of the past life. Spiritual enlightenment means achieving a purely spiritual state and freedom from the wheel of rebirth.  I like how the focus of eastern religions is on living life right here on Earth. It's the only life we are sure of, and indeed we all share the same divine spark. 

  When my first daughter was a few years old , I started going to Unitarian Universalist Church.  People recommended that to me, and I liked the open minded philosophy.  UUs believe we are part of an interconnected web of life and that no one religion holds the cornerstone on truth.  They welcome all people including atheists, lesbian/gay/transgender people, and people of all religions and everywhere in between.  They put emphasis on the spiritual search for truth, and honor everyone's individual path along that journey.  Emphasis is placed on being grateful for every breath and on how to live our lives in positive ways. 

 
I stopped going to the UU church in 2008 when a good friend died in a tragic accident, and the minister didn't have time to meet with me to help me with my grief.  It may have been the failing of one man instead of the religion, but I realized then that there is no comforting story about what happens after death.   I realized then that there really are no answers to what happens after death and that we just tell ourselves these things to make ourselves feel better. 
 
It's really just scienceClick here to see a video of what I mean by that.
 
To me, the universe is God, and the fact we have life at all on this planet is amazing and incomprehensible.   The scientific revolution occurred thousands of years after the bible was written, so it's no surprise there is no science in the bible.  Science has gone against much of what was taken as fact in the bible such as the creation/evoultion debate and the fossil record.  The bible is a series of book written by many authors, and then only some of the books were published while others were left out.  There is scientific evidence for much of the phenomena in our lives, so that's what I choose to believe.  The rest of it is a mystery, and I bow down in humility to the higher forces of the universe that make life possible.  I don't know where I was before I was born, and I dont' know where I will go after I die, but I do know that I am focused on living every day to its fullest and with love, kindness, and compassion in my heart.  Life does go on, so I surrender to the ongoing force that was in place millions of years before my life and that hopefully continues on into infinity. I don't know what happens next, but I am certainly grateful for the life I've been given.
 
 
 
 

Thursday, October 18, 2012

30 Days of Truth: Day 18-Your Views on Gay Marriage

I wrote about this topic in August when Chik-fil-a was in the news about their donations to anti-gay groups.   I think gay people should be able to get married. I just think it should be called something different.  Click here to read the whole blog entry.

Saturday, October 13, 2012

30 Days Of Truth: Day 17-A Book You Read that Changed the Way You ViewSomething

I am not a huge fan of reading novels, so it's a hobby I've had to work at developing over the years. I do read, but I gravitate toward non-fiction. Several non-fiction books have changed the way I viewed something, particularly when I studied Buddhism and other eastern religions in college. There is an upcoming entry about religion, so I will write about that separately.

Journey Into Darkness by John Douglas is a book that made an impact and changed how I viewed things. Three chapters of the book are devoted to one of my childhood and high school friends, Sue Collins, a marine was brutally raped and murdered. I wanted to read it to learn more about Sue and her killer from the FBI agent who investigated her case. Apparently, he was "haunted by the details of her case. He paid tribute to her life and got into the mind of the man who took it away from her. She was jogging at night when the crime occurred, and because of what happened to her, I don't feel safe outside alone at night. Reading all the details from his experiences changed how I view society at large. It made me more aware of dangers present in public places and ways to protect my children. It proves there are very sick people out there looking to kill people.


It's not an easy read, but a very important one in my opinion.
 
 












Here are descriptions of the book from amazon.com:

"Some authors are worth reading because of their area of expertise, even when their objectivity may be questionable. This is true of John Douglas, who follows up his Mindhunter with another assortment of his observations and opinions from his ex-job as the FBI's top expert on constructing behavioral profiles of criminals. This book contains several passages of interest: a detailed discussion of the modus operandi versus the "signature" of a murder, and how each relates to motive; thoughts on how the press and the public can be used to flush out a killer; a taxonomy of pedophiles, with a chapter on how to protect children from them; a detailed analysis of the savage sex-murder of a female Marine; a profile of the Nicole Simpson/Ron Goldman killer; and a report on how the courts are handling behavioral testimony. Always biased, often egotistical, but uniquely experienced--that's Douglas.

Product Description
In the #1 New York Times bestseller Mindhunter, John Douglas, who headed the FBI's elite Investigative Support Unit, told the story of his brilliant and terrifying career tracking down some of the most heinous criminals in history. Using behavioral profiling and criminal investigative analysis to get into the head and psyche of both the criminal and victim -- to feel what they felt at the critical moment -- Douglas helped crack many high profile cases, including the Trailside Killer, the Atlanta child murders, and the Tylenol murders. Now, working again with his co-author Mark Olshaker, Douglas delves further into the criminal mind with a series of chilling new cases in Journey into Darkness: Follow the FBI's premier investigative profiler as he penetrates the minds and motives of the most terrifying serial killers.  In Journey into Darkness, Douglas profiles vicious serial killers, rapists, and child molesters. He is straightforward, blunt, often irreverent, and outspoken, but takes pains not to glorify any of these murderers. Some of the unique cases Douglas discusses include:


The Clairemont killer -- Six women were found stabbed to death in San Diego, three in the same apartment complex. In each case, the killer entered through an unlocked door or window in the late morning to early afternoon. A suspect was in custody, tied to one of the murders through a DNA match. Douglas was called upon to use his profiling techniques to link the other five murders to the suspect. Douglas looked at the "signature" of the killer, and found that all the murders were committed by the same man. The prosecution used the profile to force the jury to find the defendant guilty of all six murders, if they felt he was guilty of the one murder. Celophus Prince was found guilty on all counts.

The schoolgirl murders -- What became Canada's "trial of the century." Several schoolgirls disappeared in 1992; their bodies were dumped several weeks later, beaten and sexually attacked. Canadian police agencies contacted the FBI for help on the case and to get a profile on the killer and, according to witnesses, his accomplice. Following the advice of the Investigative Support Unit in Quantico, Canada aired a television special entitled "The Abduction of Kristin French," allowing agent Gregg McCrary to describe the killer's profile on air. Knowing that the murderer and his accomplice would be watching, he planned to confront the unknown killer, assuring him he would be caught. Paul Bernardo was arrested on February 17, 1993, turned in by his wife and partner in crime, Karla Leanne Homolka.. The profile was dead on the money.
Richmond's First Serial Murderer -- In 1987, Richmodd, Virginia, was struck by a serial rapist/murderer. The Richmond police called upon the Investigative Support Unit in Quantico to make up a profile of the perpetrator. The crimes and profile beared a remarkable resemblance to a string of burglaries, rapes and murders in Alexandria, Virginia, several years before. Agent Steve Mardigian then formulated a complex strategy that caught the killer who fit the profile to a tee. In the process he helped free a wrongly convicted man, who due to his low intelligence level, had become confused and confessed to the crime.

The brutal and sadistic murder of Suzanne Marie Collins, a beautiful young Marine on the verge of a brilliant career. The culprit was caught and confessed to her killing, but his story was very different than what really happened. By delving into Sedley Alley's mind, Douglas helped bring the murderer to justice, recreating the evening from the perspective of a sadistic and angry man. Suzanne Collins' horrifying end haunts Douglas to this day.

Douglas delves into other cases, including Polly Klaas' abduction and murder by Richard Allen Davis, the tragedy that lead to the creation of Megan's Law; the abduction and murder of six-year-old Cassandra Lynn Hansen, who was snatched from an evening church service; and the vicious murder and sexual assault of Nancy Newman and her two daughters, eight-year-old Melissa and three-year-old Angie in Anchorage, Alaska. He also explores the murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman, focusing on the double homicide purely from a behavioral perspective. Douglas examines what the facts at and surrounding the crime scene told about the killer from a behavioral point of view. From Douglas's profile, the only viable suspect to date is O.J. Simpson.

With Journey into Darkness, Douglas provides more than a glimpse into the minds of serial killers; he demonstrates what a powerful weapon behavioral science has become. Profiling criminals helps not only to capture them, but also helps society understand how these predators work and what can be done to prevent them from striking again. Douglas focuses especially on pedophiles and child abductors, fully explaining what drives them, and how to keep children away from them. As he points out, "The best way to protect your children is to know your enemy." He includes eight rules for safety, a list of steps parents can take to prevent child abduction and exploitation, tips on how to detect sexual exploitation, basic rules of safety for children, and a chart, based on age, which details the safety skills children should have to protect themselves.

In his review for Mindhunter in The New York Times Book Review, Dean Koontz said, "Because of his insights and the power of the material, he leaves us shaken, gripped by a quiet grief for the innocent victims and anguished by the human condition." Journey into Darkness continues this perilous trip into the psyche of the serial killer, but also offers a glimmer of hope that profiling may enable law enforcement to see the indicators of a serial killer's mind and intervene before he kills, or kills again.

From the Publisher
There is only one John Douglas.

We first met Douglas in Mindhunter, which told the story of his brilliant and terrifying with the FBI until his retirement in 1995. And now, again with coauthor Mark Olshaker, he goes even further. We accompany him on the Journey Into Darkness that marks every case he examines; every instance in which he helps police identify the unknown perpetrator of a violent series of rapes, kidnappings, or murders through his remarkable criminal personality profiling.

In this fascinating audio experience, we journey with some of the brilliant and sensitive agents John has trained, who have carried on his work. We take a startlingly fresh look at the murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman as if John had been asked by the LAPD to identify the killer through behavioral profiling. And we hear how a lifetime around killers and their victims has shaped his views on justice and punishment.

The Journey Into Darkness is a perilous one, but ultimately a hopeful one as well. For not only do we see from the men and women who track the most sadistic of criminals what a powerful weapon profiling has become, we also get advice on how we might better keep our children, our families and ourselves safe from harm. By making the Journey Into Darkness with John Douglas and his colleagues, we come away with an insight into the human condition that no one else can offer.

About the Author
JOHN DOUGLAS, during his twenty-five-year career with the FBI, has become the leading expert on criminal personality profiling and the pioneer of modern criminal investigative analysis. He conducted the first organized study into the methods and motivations of serial criminals and has aided police departments and prosecutors throughout the world. A veteran of the Air Force, he is the author of numerous articles and presentations on criminology and the coauthor of the landmark books Sexual Homicide: Patterns and Motives and Crime Classification Manual. John Douglas and Mark Olshaker coauthored Mindhunter: Inside the FBI's Elite Serial Crime Unit and Unabomber: On the Trail of America's Most-Wanted Serial Killer. Douglas lives in the Washington, D.C., area.

From AudioFile
Douglas presents more observations about murderers and the profiling of serial killers in this follow-up to Mindhunter. Pointers on how parents can protect their children are worked into a section about murders of children. Douglas reads clearly, with variety of tone and emotional coloring. Although he often sounds as if he's reading, the riveting narrative itself helps to overcome this weakness. While not as compelling as it could have been with a more experienced narrator, this is still a good choice for anyone fascinated by the subject matter. M.A.M. © AudioFile 2001, Portland, Maine-- Copyright © AudioFile, Portland, Maine"






30 Days Of Truth: Day 16-Someone or Something You Definitely Can Live Without.

Cats. I am totally allergic to cats, and I can definitely live without them. I get congested, swollen, and rashy from cats. You can't walk with them or do anything enjoyable with them. I'm not sure why people even like cats. This video also parodies their 'I don't care about my humans' attitude they frequently display.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q34z5dCmC4M

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Daybook 10/10/12



 
 
 
 

For Today:  Wednesday October 10, 2012
 
Outside my window...it's a cloudy day here in Texas.  Started off foggy too.  The neighborhood is quiet.  The sky is grey.  It's a warm 70 something degrees outside.
 
I am thinking...about the quote of the day that appeared on my blog today.  It reminds me of the Buddhist idea that we are what we think.  I'm using this phrase and concept a lot these days.
 
I am thankful...for thirteen years of wedded bliss with my husband, Joe.  Today is our anniversary, and I've been spending time thinking back to that day.  Things are so different now, and I am so thankful for the road we've travelled together.  When we got married, he was an undergraduate student, and I was teaching full time.  In the past thirteen years together, he's gone to law school and made partner at his law firm recently.  We've had two babies together, a boy and a girl, talk about a dream come true!  We found his son, Brent and established a relationship with him.  Sierra changed her name to become a Nelson last year.  We've built our life together step by step, and I am so thankful for everything he has brought to my life.

In the kitchen...I made some beef, veggie, rice noodle stir fry and there are chicken wings and sliced beets with olive oil and sea salt baking right now.  I cut some fresh romaine lettuce and some carrots for snacking today.

I am wearing...grey tank top and grey GAP sweatpants.

I am creating...an electric guitar solo in the key of E.

I am going...to Austin on Saturday, can't wait!  Joe has a conference there every year at this time, and since I'm not working this year, I decided to go.  We are staying at a nice hotel and having date night on Saturday to celebrate our anniversary.  I hope to see some of my Austin friends while I'm down there!

I am wondering...whether we will get to see Brent for Christmas.  He is stationed in NY.

I am reading...so embarrased to say I'm still reading the Hunger Games. Or maybe I should say that's what I 'should' be reading. I suck at pleasure reading other than news and non-fiction. 

I am hoping...Sierra can come home for Thanksgiving.  She's working this year, so I don't know if she will get the time off.

I am looking forward to...some time alone with Joe on our long weekend.  Our lives are so busy. We hardly get to spend much time together.

I am learning...filling in the gaps on logarithms and matrices.

Around the house...there are chores to be done, but I'm facing them with a grateful attitude. I woke up this morning with that feeling of, 'oh I get to stay home alone all day and do all the work by myself' and then since then have been taking each task one at a time and looking for the positive in it.  I had a doctor's appointment then got my allergy shot and a massage then went grocery shopping.  Dishes?  That means we eat enough food.  Laundry?  That means we have enough clothing to wear.  Bills?  We are lucky enough to have a home and a family to support.  Pain?  At least I am up and moving around.  Kids' stuff everywhere? Thankfully I have kids to pick up after.   I'm so thankful I have the time to devote to myself, my kids, and my house.

I am pondering...kindness. Today there was a truck behind me that pulled right up along side of me and the driver gave me a hard stare. I thought it might be because of my Obama-Biden bumper sticker (not so popular around here).  He had a scowl on his face, so I smiled at him.  He smiled back like he didn't know what to think.  Life is too short not to smile :)

A favorite quote for today...
Quote of the DayA man is what he thinks about all day long.
Ralph Waldo Emerson


One of my favorite things...being a stay home mom.  Having time to be available for my kids is priceless! There is so much to keep track of and so many little things that need doing. It's awesome to have time to do everything.

A few plans for the rest of the week:  tutoring today, tomorrow, and Friday. Going to Austin on Saturday. 

A peek into my day...
 
 

Friday, October 5, 2012

30 Days of Truth: Day 15 — Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

I couldn't live without my husband.  I was engaged to someone else when I met him at the gym one day in June 1998.  We became best friends and started running together several times a week.  Then we went out on a double date on New Year's Eve 1998.  At midnight, we kissed, and nothing has been the same since then. 

I'd been having problems with my fiance over religion and the fact he never spent any time with me. 
My fiance was Jewish, and I was Unitarian Universalist, although I was raised Christian and celebrating Christian holidays.  I thought I wanted to convert to Judaism to marry him, but our first Christmas/Hannukah season I wanted to celebrate both holidays, and he only wanted to do Hannukah. It was a major problem.  He also didn't spend enough time with me. He worked as a physical therapist Mondays through Fridays then worked at a bike shop on Saturdays and took on a job doing ski patrol on Sundays and otherwise would train for triathlons all weekend. 

I realized that I spent all my spare time with my best friend but was engaged to someone else. 

I tried for a few months to talk myself into going ahead with the marriage and hoping it would work out.  I tried living a lie, but ultimately I listened to my intuition and broke up with my fiance and cancelled the wedding.  It was liberating. 

Deep down, I knew whom I truly loved and wanted to spend all my time with.  We dated, got married, and had two babies together, a girl and a boy.  We are celebrating our thirteenth wedding anniversary in a few days.  I couldn't be happier, and I have no regrets!

30 Days of Truth: Day 14-A Hero Who Let You Down


If your dad is supposed to be your first hero, he is the one who let me down. He was cheating on my mom while she was pregnant, and they separated when I was only six months old. We moved to my grandparents' house in MD for a few years then to VA where I grew up. My dad stayed in Ithaca, NY working at Cornell University. He was hard working and accomplished, but he didn't visit us often (maybe once a year?) and didn't make much of an effort to call or be part of our daily lives.

 
I remember crying about missing him and wondering why he didn't call for my birthday and why he paid my brother more than me to be his golf caddy. My mom explained to me that Koreans favor the first born son, and she tried to reassure me he loved me but wasn't good at showing it. He took my brother to Korea and didn't invite me. I never met my family there and probably never will.

The last time I saw him was at my brother's wedding in 1997, and he left for the airport in the morning without saying goodbye. Six weeks later, I got a call from my brother telling me our dad died from surgery complications for liver cancer. We didn't know he was going into surgery, and he never came out of it.

Heartbroken, I went to his funeral with my then four year old daughter. The service was all in Korean so I'm not sure exactly what they said, but we paid our respects and said goodbye to him. In the reception line, people kept asking his wife who I was. "Daughter" she said, pointing to me as I awkwardly shook hands and accepted condolences from people who never knew I existed.  He left nothing for me in his will. It's like he never wanted me in the first place.

I have a hole in my heart from all the ways he let me down. I mourn the father daughter relationship that I never got to have.   But, I'm glad I'm here, and I honor his spirit alive in me.  It meant a lot to me that he asked me to edit his manuscript during my visit to Ithaca for Christmas 1997.  He finished it just a few weeks before he died, so I edited it and self-published it for him. It meant the world to me to help bring his project to fruition and to share his story with the world. 

http://www.amazon.com/Into-The-Vortex-War-Interpreters/dp/1434322610
https://www.facebook.com/jennifer.w.chapman.5#!/susanne23nelson?fref=ts

 

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Presidential Debate 10/3/12



http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/03/obama-romney-debate_n_1937173.html


Romney wins? He wins what?  Romney had me at, "I like coal."  That alone says  a lot, and there is a stark difference between him and President Obama.  Romney's body language was not presidential, and he was rude and interrupted both his opponent and the moderator. He wins interrupter-in-chief and attacker-in-chief. 

Obama was not on the attack. Yes, he could have and should have mentioned important issues like climate change and the 47% and press his opponent for details on his plans.  He didn't get down in the mud and fight with his opponent.  Some say that he got his ass kicked.  I say he took the high road and was respectful of the moderator and maintained presidential compusure.  He faced the moderator mostly, although he did make eye contact with Romney too.   He faced the camera and spoke to the American people.  He didn't attend every argument he was invited to.  He could have done a better job of fighting back.  I wish he would have answered the "trickle-down government" question.  That was clearly a zinger rehearsed by the Romney campaign to say, 'nu-uh you're the one who trickles down'  (like in Tommy Boy when they are in the car eating m&ms and they roll down the dashboard). 

But the approaches to the issues are still the same regardless of what was said last night.  Obama wins on having facts and details.  Obama is a net job creator.  Obama has a clear vision for clean energy growth balanced with domestic use of oil.  Obamacare keeps young people on their parents plans longer, provides preventative care at 100% and health care for many people who can't afford it now including seniors. 

Going into the debate, I expected President Obama to win. He did and does and will have my vote because I agree with and support his visions for ways to move forward into the future.  Going back to failed policies of the past like trickle-down economics is like Einstein's definition of insanity:  doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. 

Listen people, the choice is clear. If you don't know who you are voting for by now, you're not looking at the issues. It's time for you to look at each issue and see where you stand. Register to vote and use your vote. I won't tell you whom to vote for, but I will tell you to vote because you can. Yes. you can!

http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/

Monday, October 1, 2012

30 Days of Truth: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)

Dear Jewel,
You and your music have gotten me through some tough ass days.  When I think about a band or artist who has helped me get through tough times, I think about when my toughest times were. I hit rock bottom when my first husband and I separated, and subesquently, I lived as a single mom for four years in my mom's house (1994-1998).  I had a baby girl (same birthday as you!), and I lived in my mom's basement in Springfield, Virginia (a DC suburb) while I put my life back together..  A long time fan of the DC music scene, I remember when you first played at the 9:30 Club.  Pieces of You was released in 1995, and Who Will Save Your Soul was always on the radio. People told me I looked like you in that video with the girl with a guitar singing in the bathroom.


 
 
Jewel in the video for Who Will Save Your Soul
 
me in 1997


Your voice caught my attention, and your story intrigued me.  Like you, I had lived in my car before. I knew what it was like to be broke.  I knew what it was like to struggle.  I listened to your first album over and over and sang along to every track. I knew all the words by heart.  Who Will Save Your Soul made me think about how we choose to live our daily lives.  Pieces of You pointed out interesting parts of human nature.  You Were Meant For Me was simple yet expressed the pain of heartbreak. 

Previously a granola-type person who didn't shave or wear makeup, I started getting my hair highlighted, wearing makeup, and shopping for a professional wardrobe as I struggled to make ends meet as a single mother.  As I learned to enhance my natural beauty, people kept telling me I looked so much like you.  Being compared to you is a high compliment!  I remember crashing the 1996 MTV Pre-Inaugural Ball in Washington, DC with a girlfriend, and reporters kept asking me if I was Jewel. 

Spirit came out on CD, and I moved to Reno, NV in 1998.  Down So Long, What's Simple is True, Deep Water, and Hands were instant favorites. Again, I loved to sing along with every song.  I'd moved to Reno with a guy, and a few months later, it fell apart (long story).  I met my husband there in 1998 and worked as a teacher for three years supporting my daughter.  We were best friends, and then he stepped up to the plate and asked me to marry him. Shortly thereafter, we got married and had a little girl together in 2000.  Your music inspired me to listen to my heart.  What's simple is true - those words are very true.

In 2001, we moved back to VA so my husband could attend law school.  9/11 happened, and your song, Hands, became one of the songs being played to inspire people.  This Way was released.  Jesus Loves Me, Break Me, This Way, and Standing Still  were my favorites.

From that point on, things in my life have been on an upward trajectory.  As you and your music continued to evolve, I've always been inspired to be "the kind of woman I'd want my daughters to be."  In 2010, I wrote this blog entry and ended it with lyrics from your song, You Are What You Are. 

I play guitar, and I love playing your songs.  I've seen you performing live many times including at Wolf Trap in Vienna, VA, S.Lake Tahoe,CA, and Bass Performance Hall in Ft Worth, TX. Your poetry and song lyrics continue to enrich my life and inspire me to be gentle with myself, to find beauty in the world all around me, and to follow my intuition for it will surely lead me in the right direction.  My deepest gratitude for you and your music.  Thank you Jewel!

Sincerely,
Susanne Nelson